Making a Home: It's a Matter of Sanctity (and Sanity)

Growing up I don't recall ever thinking I lacked anything I needed. My parents provided for our needs and we had a generally happy childhood. Our home had the constant presence of kids, there was always something to eat, and something else...clutter. The formal dining room rarely was clear enough for us to eat there as a family. There were stacks of folded clothes, bags with blankets, and just an all-around surplus of things we didn't use. Before your imagination wanders to the likeness of an episode of hoarders, let me clarify something. My mother may not have had order in our home but she definitely kept a clean house. My theory is that my mother grew up with little, so she stored in times of plenty; then when life required it she would sell what things she had to better provide for the family. This is my perspective now that I understand where she was coming from, but at the time I felt embarrassed having friends over and having to explain why we always had storage indoors. Needless to say when the time came for me to make a home of my own, I wanted things to be different. The idea is to keep it simple when it comes to decorating, storing, etc. I don't like having clutter. Does it happen in our home? Well, it's a constant battle to keep things up to my expectations.

I read a sign at a crafting boutique once, "Please excuse our mess, we were making memories." I totally get making memories with your kids. From time to time I have glitter for days from moments of crafting, but I don't think a mess has to linger in order to make memories. If you are that sentimental, take a picture and move on. Ever been in a building where there is construction going on during operating hours? "Pardon our dust" is what the sign reads as I hold my breath and hurriedly walk past the disaster area. Overextended messes are not pleasant, temporary ones we can make exceptions for.

How in the world do you find time for everything when you have a million other things that demand your attention? It is a daily thing you need to work at, and not just you, the entire household should be involved in helping.

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer,...a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." -D&C 88:119

Organize Yourselves. I'm a firm believer that you need to have a plan in mind of what you are looking to accomplish. Organizing yourself can relate to having a place for every physical thing in your home, but also organizing your thoughts and prioritizing things in life. I definitely find homemaking to be a less stressful undertaking after taking a moment to meditate, study the scriptures, and pray.

Prepare Every Needful Thing. I love the simplicity of this because it gives direction of what should be in your home. Needful is the key word. Do you really need that extra television? Getting down to the bare necessities is a way to help keep your home in order as well as help you maximize your space. We try to purge things around our home at a minimum once a year. Spring cleaning is a great time to do so. We get rid of anything we haven't used during the last year. The guideline there is if we don't use it, we lose it. If at all possible don't even buy it in the first place, but I have to admit that sometimes the clearance section at Target is my downfall. It is hard to pass up a good deal, but then when you end up not even using it, it's money you could have used elsewhere or put it in savings for a rainy day.

A House of Prayer, A House of Faith. Prayer, both personal and as a family, has a way of bringing clarity to our minds and give us that extra strength we sometimes need to make decisions, interact as a family, find motivation, and at times make it through the day. It invites the Spirit into your home and will help put things in perspective that need your individual attention. When we are able to get on our knees and then get up and faithfully go do as we are directed to, we can't go wrong.

A House of Learning. Our homes are definitely the first education we receive about the world around us. We learn to speak, to walk, to run, to love, to live all within the walls of our homes. The parents are a child's first teachers and they will learn a pattern to live by, which they will take with them when they leave to make a home of their own. Our example as parents is crucial to the development of our children. It is important to provide and love them, but also teach them to work. We are in essence preparing them for adulthood. As soon as my children were old enough to follow directions, they would help around the house with age appropriate chores. My mother would criticize my parenting and tell me that the kids should only worry about playing. I have never regretted teaching them the value of work and service at home. Comparing my kids' level of responsibility and productivity to my own at their ages, I'm astonished. I don't have to nag them now that they are older to clean their rooms because they take pride in having an orderly room.

A House of Glory, A House of Order, A House of God. When our home is clean and in order, I can feel a peace settle over it. We can freely give of our time to family and have patience and love towards them. When there is chaos at home, it is so difficult to feel comfortable at home. I find it difficult to concentrate or even sleep if the house is a disaster. If our homes are sanctuaries and a refuge from the world, we need to understand that our homes are sacred and holy. It is a matter of respect then to try to maintain a house of order. Those who have visited our home have always made comments at the beauty of our home. I like to think that it is more of a feeling of reverence that they find beautiful than the admiration of physical aspects.

"And inasmuch as my people build a house unto me in the name of the Lord, and do not suffer any unclean thing to come into it, that it be not defiled, my glory shall rest upon it; Yea, and my presence shall be there, for I will come into it..." D&C 97:15-17

Building a house unto the Lord can also extend beyond the aspects of our home. It's important to remember that we too are a place where the spirit of the Lord can reside, and as such we need to take time to renew it, spiritually, mentally, and physically. We all can benefit from internal peace. I read a great quote the other day that said "Clutter is not just physical stuff...Clutter is anything that does not support your better self." Life has a way of sometimes changing plans, and we definitely need to be realistic about our expectations. I promise you that as you continually try to make your homes and even our bodies and minds a house of God, you will be blessed to find time and energy for everything that is of lasting importance; as well as enjoy an added measure of the Spirit in your heart and home.