Law of Health: Sleep

The other night I tried to stay up with the kids to watch a family movie. This was special to them because we typically have them in bed between 8 and 9pm during the summer. 9:30 rolls around and I'm having a difficult time staying alert. I struggle to keep my eyes open so after fighting it for what felt a long time, I said good night to the kids and I made my way to bed. Once I got comfortable enough, I fell asleep within minutes. I woke up the next morning around 6am. This is the new normal for me. In the past I have struggled with getting and staying asleep. Any little noise would wake me up in the middle of the night and it was frustrating to toss and turn for hours wishing I could enjoy some much needed rest. Parents of new born babies in particular know the struggle of not getting enough sleep. I recall the newborn stage with each of my kids and that by far was the most trying of situations with them (them being teenagers will likely be a close second). That six to nine months was tough physically, mentally and spiritually. Your mood, concentration, and health takes a toll from the lack of sleep. What are some things that may prevent us from getting a restful night? Before you pin the blame solely on children, let me share some facts about sleep.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, sleep can be disrupted by elevation -- higher altitudes in particular, exercising sporadically or before bed, marital status (divorced, widowed, or separated), misuse of sleeping aids, schedules that interfere with 6-10 hours of sleep, sleep disorders such as insomnia or apnea, and even the environment you sleep in (too much light, noise, etc.). According to Harvard Medical School's Sleep Division, "...sleep plays a critical role in immune function, metabolism, memory, learning, and other vital functions." All earth organisms REQUIRE sleep. Sleep is not optional, our body needs it to properly function.

As far back as 800 B.C. the sleep norm was in two shifts within a 24 hour period of time. In later eras, researchers believed that sleep was brought on by gastric vapors from your stomach. Around the 1800's the idea of sleep habits and ideas shifted to sleep exceeding seven hours was lazy. By the 1900's further research of the neurological system pointed towards the brain being a primary driver in sleep and wakefulness. During the earlier part of this century, sleep patterns aligned with the artic season, which varied between 14 hours when nights were longer, and six hours during the months days were longer. By the 1980's the idea of need for sleep deteriorated and took the backseat of the need to work longer hours in order to obtain more material possessions. By the year 2010, it was estimated that approximately "47 million adults in the U.S. were putting themselves at risk for health and behavior problems or injury because they fail to meet their minimum sleep requirements." (Harvard Medical School, Historical and Cultural Perspectives of Sleep Timeline).

Caffeinated coffee, soft drinks, teas, energy drinks, energy shots, can suppress the need for sleep with these easily accessible substances. Over consumption of such stimulants can lead to addiction (ask people who need a Coke or a cup of coffee to function), lack of sleep, and health issues. The FDA cautions "consumers that products marketed as 'energy shots' or 'energy drinks' are not alternatives to rest or sleep. It is important for consumers to realize that, while stimulants such as caffeine may make one feel more alert and awake, judgment and reaction time can still be impaired by insufficient rest or sleep." Nothing can substitute a good nights rest, period.

The scriptures teach the benefits of being wise in the caring of our bodies. “Cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” (D&C 88:124). We are promised we "shall receive health in their navel and marrow to [our] bones;...And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;...And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint." (D&C 89:18-20). Even Benjamin Franklin understood this when he said, "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy and wealthy and wise." Not only are our bodies able to benefit from much needed rest, but our mental state, and spirituality also benefit.

President Harold B. Lee taught how going to bed at a reasonable time and waking up early benefits personal revelation and said, "If you do, your body and mind will become rested, and then in the quiet of those early-morning hours, you will receive more flashes of insight and inspiration than at any other time of the day.” I have a personal testimony of this law of health. There is no other time during the day that I look forward to more than the quiet hours I spend studying, writing, pondering, and praying. Resting provides a much needed physical and spiritual renewal, and I am able to take on whatever the day brings with my perspective, my heart, and my convictions in the right place.

Simple Tips to a Healthier You

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A diet and exercise plan is as unique as you are. There is a ton of information out there that guarantees to help you achieve your health goals. This can be overwhelming! I know I was at first. I've heard fitness trainers say that when it comes to diet and exercise, the biggest battle you have is mental. You already have the desire to want to be healthier but what can you do to help you cope mentally from desire to success. I believe it has a lot to do with our choices and sometimes we fall into temptation of poor health habits. Yes, diet and exercise is hard, but how do you feel when you revisit the unhappy state of your health. Start with your environment and make small adjustments to promote healthy habits. Here are tips that have worked for me and my family:

The Salad Plate. I had a dinner guest point out something funny and interesting. He said he was surprised at how thin we were with such good food. To this I responded that it was because of the size of our plates. Although I said it jokingly, this was an aha moment where I realized many of our choices, even with the size of our dinnerware, made an impact on our health. Health professionals have stated that most people eat way more in one sitting than they should. Portion control, I know...nothing exciting about that. By using a salad plate it helps us portion control by not having to feel like we need to fill every corner of a large dinner plate.

Don't Do Seconds. This will be hard at first. I grew up in a home where big portions was a good thing and encouraged as part of a healthy appetite. I struggled with this often because I have always been kind of petite. A lot of that I attribute to practicing self restraint even when I was criticized by family for being too skinny. Yes, genetics have some play in it but my parents are a bit heavier set now in their older years, something I didn't want for myself. Because I wasn't taught self restraint as a kid when it came to food, I've definitely taken an active role in teaching this concept to my kids. The rule is we don't do seconds for less healthier things like cereal and sugary treats. We do however allow seconds of food that is healthier like veggies and fruit. More often than not, the kids finish what is on their plate and they are less apt to be picky eaters.

Skip Dessert. Dessert is the icing on the cake so to speak. Everyone loves that part of dinner right? Well, rather than be bummed out that we don't get to have the treat we made or bought, we just skip offering it altogether. We really only have a dessert prepared when guests visit (rethinking this) or for a birthday. We rarely order dessert at restaurants which not only saves our health, but also our money.

Stick to Water. This is something I struggle with because of habits formed in my younger years. Soda was something we always had at home. We don't keep soda in the home now. If it is anywhere, we will consume it. If we do have it, we will choose something that doesn't contain high fructose corn syrup. Whole Foods is our go to place for less sugary alternatives. Best option is to not even purchase it. Even when you go out to eat. I've noticed that the kids' mood is much better when they don't have any. Water is much less expensive and your body functions better with it. I had a friend in high school who that was all she drank and carried around a massive water bottle. I had never seen a teenager with such flawless skin. If this is something you absolutely cannot give up right now, try reducing how much you do have. Stick to having 8 oz cups only in the house instead of the 16 oz. Seconds rule also applies to sugary drinks in our home; no more than one cup of them, but have all you want of water.

Make Small Adjustments. Something amazing happens when you make one healthy choice, it is easier to continue making them. Know what is in the food you buy. The more I research about healthy food, I realize that so much out there is unhealthy yet readily available. This is why I can't stress enough that you need to do your homework and learn how to select healthier options. We used to buy any wheat bread thinking that it was healthier than white bread. Later I found out that most are only made to look healthier. We constantly look at our food labels now, even the kids do, and we leave anything that contains high fructose corn syrup or doesn't at a minimum contain whole grains. The less processed your choices, the better. Another small adjustment we made was to switch from beef to turkey. What we found was that turkey is not only a leaner meat, it is also cheaper in some instances. Make small adjustments to what you currently use. This will help the change be a little more manageable and increase your chances of sticking to it.

Incorporate Vegetables. We try to incorporate a vegetable with our lunch and dinner. If it is not in the main dish, serve it on the side. Sometimes we run out of a fresh veggie option, so we keep frozen steamable packs in our freezer for a quick way to serve them up. If you can, grow a vegetable garden. If you don't have a ton of space, even keeping a tomato plant will be a better alternative than buying from the store.

Limit Eating Out. It is sometimes the busy mom's go to when the day is demanding of our time. I've had days when we are out running errands and the kids start to get hangry, myself included. It is so much easier to just hop on the drive through lane at a local fast food place, but not the best choice. Plan ahead if possible and pack some snacks and a few bottled waters. This will tie you guys over until you can get home and get lunch. If we plan on being gone longer, we sometimes just go ahead and pack lunch. Again, healthier option and saves you money. You don't have to completely eliminate eating out. We limit ourselves to eating out as a family to once a month. That way you don't have to feel deprived at not splurging once in a while. For us it has become an incentive for being good all month.

Every Step Matters. I was running errands with my kids the other day and pulled into a parking lot. I first attempted to find a parking spot close to the entrance of the store. Well, many other people also had the same goal in mind and some waited for people loading their groceries in order to get what they presumed was a prime spot. I wasn't that determined to park close so I decided to turn into a spot further down. To my surprise the kids didn't even complain about it because they were wearing their pedometers and were happy to get more steps in. I had totally forgot they carried those things around, but came to realize they work hard at beating their previous step count. Parking a little further away from the store not only provides you with more parking options (including less opportunity for dings on your car) but also promotes getting a little more exercise in. If you are a visual person, then by all means invest in a pedometer to track your progress. Maybe that will also encourage you to take the stairs whenever possible instead of an elevator. And when visiting a shopping mall, park on the opposite end of your destination to get a little extra walking. In a hurry? Speed-walking can save you time and is a great form of cardio. Every step counts!

Don't be discouraged if your attempts appear to be insignificant. Remember the words of Alma "...by small and simple things are great things come to pass." (Alma 37:6). Any change and accomplishment, whether small or big, can have great effect on your well being. These are simple adjustments that anyone can make. Not only can they save money, but also promote a healthier you. A healthier you is also a happier you!

What I Learned From Mother

As a child, I had many instances where my mother (sometimes father) tried teaching me a life lesson. My lack of understanding of the bigger picture of the situation kept me from seeing that their rebukes, cautions, protection, were done in love, not cruelty. I didn't appreciate their life experience and wisdom until I had children of my own, including my own struggles. It makes sense that parents want to sometimes protect their children to a point where we may perceive them as being cruel or unfair.

I was in fifth grade, Mrs. Lovell's class. It was a hot afternoon after lunch break. We all sat at our desks enjoying the cool of the room. The teacher announced we were taking a mental break from testing and class work, and were going to watch a movie. This of course was super exciting to us kids. She had wheeled in the TV/VCR combo from the office while we were at lunch. She pressed play and fast forwarded through the previews and some of the opening credits. The screen read, "Trading Mom". Some of you may or may not remember this movie. It made a big impression to me as a child because I recognized my mother was flawed and sometimes (though guilty as it makes me now feel having thought it) I wished for different things in a mom. Often I thought it'd be nice if she were more loving, or patient, and kind.

The movie told the story about three siblings living in chaos with their single mother. They were not happy with things at home and blamed their mother for their unhappiness. The children one day visit a neighbor who is tending her vast garden. They bring up their disappointment with home life and she reveals a spell to make their mother disappear. That night the children recite the spell incantation and wake up the next morning with everything, even memories of their mother gone. They seek out their neighbor to tell her what happened and she gives them instructions to go to the Mommy Market. Exciting for a kid right, to pick out their perfect mother?! Well, they soon find out that they have only three tries to choose the mom of their dreams, but it turns out to be quite the disaster. They end up wishing their real mom to return, which of course she did after they learned a valuable lesson.

The lesson I learned was that things are not always as bad as I see them, and that to love someone, you love them in spite of our own personal opinion of their imperfections. Yes, I've been heart broken, emotionally bruised, and angry at some of my mother's flaws. But I cannot deny that I love her regardless because she is my mother. She is a daughter of God, just like me. I don't doubt for a second that she was chosen for me so that we would help each other grow. She is more than her mistakes, as I know I am in my Heavenly Father's eyes. That love I learned from willingly and unconditionally loving someone, helped me in learning how to submit to my Heavenly Father without feeling the need to question everything I didn't quite understand. Too many try to change others that they forget that the one person they can change is themselves. Us...that is who we have control over. Over the years I have developed what I feel is a close relationship with God, and this has come with similar motions as my relationship with my earthly parents. I have felt disappointment towards Him, felt he was being cruel when he withheld blessings from my life, have felt angry when he saw fit for me to learn a new lesson, but I still love Him and understand that these are my very human responses, and own lack of understanding.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

It is easy to point the finger in our time of need and grief. What is not easy is looking inward and admitting our faults. One of my favorite stories about Christ is about the adulterous woman brought before him:

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"Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." John 8:1-11

This is a wonderful reminder that we have no business judging others, especially not God.

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." Mosiah 3:19

I hope you don't find this message discouraging, rather I encourage you to look inward when you are tempted to blame God. Remember that He is perfect and all knowing.

"O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it." 2 Nephi 9:20

Trust God loves you and wants what is best for you, just like you would your children, and your parents for you. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught "God derives His great and continuing joy and glory by increasing and advancing His creations, and not from new intellectual experiences. His plan of salvation is constantly underway -- not constantly under revision...In a very real sense, all we need to know is that God knows all."

Before you say, "No thank you."

Regardless of who you are, chances are someone is always looking up or to you for something, known or unknown. As a mother my children daily come to me for help, to answer questions, to make things better, for nourishment, for guidance, for love, and for an example. I definitely feel like I have to have things figured out or at least have an idea how to provide all these things for them, and it worries me when I can't or don't; like somehow this would mean a failure as a parent. When did we stop seeking to know and instead think we have it all figured out or at least feel the need to pretend we know everything, because heaven forbid us being clueless. Is this the fantasy of what independence looks like? Or is it just our pride getting the best of us or keeping the best of us away from those that could need us (or us them)?

I have to admit that I was one of the many who felt it was a sign of weakness to need something from someone as an adult. It developed over time, maybe by being disappointed by others, but that doesn't excuse withholding opportunities from those who genuinely would do anything to help out. I thought I had to be strong alone. Being knocked down in life will definitely breathe new perspective in your life. It is frustrating and sad to be on the end of seeking others out only to be turned away. Maybe it is ignorance that we do such a thing but at times the offerer needs you more than you need them. An older sister in a previous ward asked if she could be of help. Without hesitation I answered that I was fine and that I'd let her know if I needed anything. To this she responded, "No, you won't." This dear sister's genuine concern was quickly brushed off at initiation. I was so surprised to be called out in my polite response of what I thought was letting her down easy when she took it as an insult and false promise that I would take her up on her invitation. I have countless times been on the receiving end of being turned down with similar politeness, and always remember that incident. I too think, "No, you won't."

Do we do the same when God invites us to let him into our lives? Do you respond with "thanks but no thanks," or worse even a flat out, "I don't need you."

"O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not..." 2 Nephi 9:28

There is a story I heard about a woman receiving notice that the Savior would be visiting her for dinner. She set out to preparing her home to receive him and as she rushed throughout the day a man came to her door three different times asking for help. Each time she rushed him away telling him that she was too busy. After working hard all day to prepare things for his arrival, she sat patiently waiting, but he never showed. Very bothered by this, she wrote him expressing her disappointment. To her letter he responded that he showed up three times, but that each time she dismissed him.

Maybe it is rushing to prepare for many good things in life or dealing with the crazy that comes from living life, that we often overlook the divine assistance that is sent our way. Whether that be a prompting to say our morning prayer, taking a moment to read the scriptures, making time to help another in need or just because, allowing someone to serve and minister to us, our Savior manifests his light and love in a variety of ways, either to help us or another. Cast aside your ignorance and pride and look up. Look up! Witness there are angels around you sent to bear you up in your times of need as well as times of peace.

"And whoso knocketh, to him will he open; and the wise, and the learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up because of their learning, and their wisdom, and their riches--yea, they are they whom he despiseth; and save they shall cast these things away, and consider themselves fools before God, and come down in the depths of humility, he will not open unto them." 2 Nephi 9:42

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught:

"Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most." (Uchtdorf, 2010, Of Things That Matter Most).

We make time for what is important to us. What are we saying when we put our to-do list above what God needs for us? You don't have to wait for tragedy to strike in your life to seek out God. Seek him in times of peace and "...pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice." (2 Nephi 9:52).

Before you say, "no thank you," make sure it is not to the things of God (the things that matter most). I promise you that the more you seek God in life, the more you will see his hand in yours.

Free to Choose

It was a typical Wednesday evening in February. I prepared dinner and we sat down to eat. After cleaning up, the girls and I sat down on the living room floor to play Go Fish. We raised the stakes with chocolate peanut butter cups. I noticed my back began to ache a little. I thought maybe it was from hunching over while playing cards. I decided to lie down on the couch and we turned on a movie. I dozed off for a few minutes and upon waking the pain had become pretty intense. I decided to try a heating pad to see if that would ease what I thought was muscle spasms. Within the hour the pain had become unbearable and I was uncomfortable sitting, standing, walking, breathing. I called my husband on his way home from a church activity and told him what was going on. We called a neighbor to come stay with the kids while he rushed me to the hospital. Five hours of waiting and an ultrasound revealed I had gallstones.

This was by far the worst pain I had ever experienced (and I've had three kids). The ER doctor explained that the pain I was experiencing was caused by a gallbladder attack; when the gallbladder contracts to release bile the stones are pushed towards the exit blocking bile from leaving. He described it as hitting a brick wall. On being released from the hospital I was given a lengthy list of things I should avoid to prevent future attacks to which I did not hesitate to eliminate. The hardest part about this health struggle was that I felt angry about this trial. Why was my health being challenged when I took care of myself fairly well, I thought. The following Monday I met with the surgeon who confirmed the ER doctor's diagnosis and said that the only way to fix the problem was to remove the gallbladder. Not the answer I was expecting. I was hoping at least two options would be available.

The night before the surgery I couldn't sleep. I felt so uncomfortable spiritually and an unrest because I was afraid and angry about what I was facing the next day. Although the doctors insisted it was a simple and quick procedure, the thought of surgery was terrifying to me. At 3 a.m. I found myself searching on lds.org. I clicked on a few different article links and read: “As we confront our own … trials and tribulations, we too can plead with the Father, just as Jesus did, that we ‘might not … shrink’—meaning to retreat or to recoil (D&C 19:18). Not shrinking is much more important than surviving! Moreover, partaking of a bitter cup without becoming bitter is likewise part of the emulation of Jesus” (Elder David A. Bednar, 2013, That We Might Not Shrink).

I realized my anger came from not feeling ready to overcome what was placed before me. If Christ was able to endure so much pain and suffering for me, I could find strength to overcome this. I was overcome with emotion as I knelt down to pray for strength and forgiveness. I had a choice...I could choose to let go of the anger in my heart and let God strengthen me, or I could choose to let bitterness take over and miss out on seeing the blessing that would come from this experience. I knew I couldn't do it alone and so I let go of the anger. That made room in my heart and mind to witness the love of my Father as people came daily to help with my children, to visit me just to see how I was doing, to see my husband as he lovingly and patiently helped me get around those first few days. God was there strengthening me the whole way.

My six-year-old daughter posed a question the other day, "Mom, why do bad things happen?" "Because there is an opposition to everything, sad to happy, sick to healthy," I replied. According to the scriptures opposition provides choice, which then brings about consequences either good or bad. As a nation we pride ourselves in the freedoms we enjoy daily. Our Declaration of Independence states that we "...are endowed by [our] Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27

The concept of freedom in our lives predates our mortal experience. Our free agency is a gift from God, and that freedom continues to be possible through Christ. President Ezra Taft Benson taught that:

"Through Christ and his valiant defense of our Father's plan, the course of agency and eternal aspirations prevailed...So we came to our mortality, like Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1:5), known by God as his literal spirit children, having the privilege to choose our personal path...the children of men continue to be free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for [ourselves] and not to be acted upon...God's chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for a chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency...Daily, constantly, we choose by our desires, our thoughts, and our actions whether we want to be blessed or cursed, happy or miserable."

I love this! We are free to act for ourselves and not to be acted upon. If we take a moment to reflect on ourselves, who and what we are right now, do we reflect our free choice of happiness or misery? We hold in our own hands a huge opportunity for our personal happiness or misery regardless of our circumstances. Here's my challenge to you, dust off that list of goals you wrote at the beginning of the year, or start a new one (attached is a sample goal list). Review it often as your idea of what makes you happy may change along the way. Now more than ever I believe it is important to take back the power we give, sometimes unknowingly, to the adversary. We can be freed from bondage through Christ and in him find the strength to resist temptation.

"Awake...put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust." 2 Nephi 1:23

Whether the chains that bind us are an addiction, a toxic relationship, our health, our lack of fitness, depression, basically anything that keeps us from our better selves and from happiness, we can 'awake' and be better everyday. IT IS YOUR CHOICE!

MY PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Misery Your current habits, situation, mental hurdle, spiritual battle, etc. that keep you from happiness.	Happiness What you want the results to be from your choice to change.	Plan Change begins with small steps. What small change is in your immediate reach that you can make to begin your journey to happiness?

Making a Home: It's a Matter of Sanctity (and Sanity)

Growing up I don't recall ever thinking I lacked anything I needed. My parents provided for our needs and we had a generally happy childhood. Our home had the constant presence of kids, there was always something to eat, and something else...clutter. The formal dining room rarely was clear enough for us to eat there as a family. There were stacks of folded clothes, bags with blankets, and just an all-around surplus of things we didn't use. Before your imagination wanders to the likeness of an episode of hoarders, let me clarify something. My mother may not have had order in our home but she definitely kept a clean house. My theory is that my mother grew up with little, so she stored in times of plenty; then when life required it she would sell what things she had to better provide for the family. This is my perspective now that I understand where she was coming from, but at the time I felt embarrassed having friends over and having to explain why we always had storage indoors. Needless to say when the time came for me to make a home of my own, I wanted things to be different. The idea is to keep it simple when it comes to decorating, storing, etc. I don't like having clutter. Does it happen in our home? Well, it's a constant battle to keep things up to my expectations.

I read a sign at a crafting boutique once, "Please excuse our mess, we were making memories." I totally get making memories with your kids. From time to time I have glitter for days from moments of crafting, but I don't think a mess has to linger in order to make memories. If you are that sentimental, take a picture and move on. Ever been in a building where there is construction going on during operating hours? "Pardon our dust" is what the sign reads as I hold my breath and hurriedly walk past the disaster area. Overextended messes are not pleasant, temporary ones we can make exceptions for.

How in the world do you find time for everything when you have a million other things that demand your attention? It is a daily thing you need to work at, and not just you, the entire household should be involved in helping.

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer,...a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." -D&C 88:119

Organize Yourselves. I'm a firm believer that you need to have a plan in mind of what you are looking to accomplish. Organizing yourself can relate to having a place for every physical thing in your home, but also organizing your thoughts and prioritizing things in life. I definitely find homemaking to be a less stressful undertaking after taking a moment to meditate, study the scriptures, and pray.

Prepare Every Needful Thing. I love the simplicity of this because it gives direction of what should be in your home. Needful is the key word. Do you really need that extra television? Getting down to the bare necessities is a way to help keep your home in order as well as help you maximize your space. We try to purge things around our home at a minimum once a year. Spring cleaning is a great time to do so. We get rid of anything we haven't used during the last year. The guideline there is if we don't use it, we lose it. If at all possible don't even buy it in the first place, but I have to admit that sometimes the clearance section at Target is my downfall. It is hard to pass up a good deal, but then when you end up not even using it, it's money you could have used elsewhere or put it in savings for a rainy day.

A House of Prayer, A House of Faith. Prayer, both personal and as a family, has a way of bringing clarity to our minds and give us that extra strength we sometimes need to make decisions, interact as a family, find motivation, and at times make it through the day. It invites the Spirit into your home and will help put things in perspective that need your individual attention. When we are able to get on our knees and then get up and faithfully go do as we are directed to, we can't go wrong.

A House of Learning. Our homes are definitely the first education we receive about the world around us. We learn to speak, to walk, to run, to love, to live all within the walls of our homes. The parents are a child's first teachers and they will learn a pattern to live by, which they will take with them when they leave to make a home of their own. Our example as parents is crucial to the development of our children. It is important to provide and love them, but also teach them to work. We are in essence preparing them for adulthood. As soon as my children were old enough to follow directions, they would help around the house with age appropriate chores. My mother would criticize my parenting and tell me that the kids should only worry about playing. I have never regretted teaching them the value of work and service at home. Comparing my kids' level of responsibility and productivity to my own at their ages, I'm astonished. I don't have to nag them now that they are older to clean their rooms because they take pride in having an orderly room.

A House of Glory, A House of Order, A House of God. When our home is clean and in order, I can feel a peace settle over it. We can freely give of our time to family and have patience and love towards them. When there is chaos at home, it is so difficult to feel comfortable at home. I find it difficult to concentrate or even sleep if the house is a disaster. If our homes are sanctuaries and a refuge from the world, we need to understand that our homes are sacred and holy. It is a matter of respect then to try to maintain a house of order. Those who have visited our home have always made comments at the beauty of our home. I like to think that it is more of a feeling of reverence that they find beautiful than the admiration of physical aspects.

"And inasmuch as my people build a house unto me in the name of the Lord, and do not suffer any unclean thing to come into it, that it be not defiled, my glory shall rest upon it; Yea, and my presence shall be there, for I will come into it..." D&C 97:15-17

Building a house unto the Lord can also extend beyond the aspects of our home. It's important to remember that we too are a place where the spirit of the Lord can reside, and as such we need to take time to renew it, spiritually, mentally, and physically. We all can benefit from internal peace. I read a great quote the other day that said "Clutter is not just physical stuff...Clutter is anything that does not support your better self." Life has a way of sometimes changing plans, and we definitely need to be realistic about our expectations. I promise you that as you continually try to make your homes and even our bodies and minds a house of God, you will be blessed to find time and energy for everything that is of lasting importance; as well as enjoy an added measure of the Spirit in your heart and home.

Memories: Book of Life

Dr. Seuss said once that you don't know the value of something until it becomes a memory. Is there value in all our memories? I believe there is. Memories can fill you with the sweetest of emotions and at times with the greatest of shames and everything in between. There is a scientific origin as well as a spiritual origin for memories. Science tells us that our memories are stored in the hippocampus portion of our brain. Every recording of a new memory causes the brain to make new connections between neurons. Once a long-term memory has taken form, it is difficult to be undone. (Miller, 2010). Some long-term memories recalled often can disrupt lives such as in the case of people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

How is it that people can have healing of such memories that cause intense emotions such as with the loss of a loved one? Elder L. Tom Perry described these as eternal memories and it is a matter of having an eternal perspective of these memories. We can right wrongs through repentance of our mistakes and being born of the Spirit. The bitterness of moments will no longer have a negative effect on you through the Atonement of Christ. You can receive peace in your mind and heart as you rely on our Savior in faith. As Elder Dale G. Renlund said in a general conference address, "God cares a lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than who we once were." (Elder G. Renlund, Latter-Day Saints Keep on Trying, 2015). We cannot hope to find healing in continually looking back at past mistakes, either of our own doing or of others.

In the Book of Genesis we learn about Lot's wife and the destructive effect of not being able to press forward in faith. Lot was commanded to take his family and flee from Sodom and Gomorrah: "Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed." (Genesis 19:17). "But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt." (Genesis 19:26). Although we may not face literally turning into a pillar of salt, our inability to seek forgiveness or forgive others, can be destructive to our peace of mind and redemption of our soul.

In the previously mentioned conference address by Elder Renlund, he shares what President Thomas S. Monson taught concerning this: "One of the greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure need be final." He continues, "Even if we've been a conscious, deliberate sinner or have repeatedly faced failure and disappointment, the moment we decide to try again, the Atonement of Christ can help us. And we need to remember that it is not the Holy Ghost that tells us we're so far gone that we might as well give up. God's desire that [we] keep on trying also extends beyond overcoming sin. Whether we suffer because of troubled relationships, economic challenges, or illnesses or as a consequence of someone else's sins, the Savior's infinite Atonement can heal even--and perhaps especially--those who have innocently suffered. He understands perfectly what it is like to suffer innocently as a consequence of another's transgression. As prophesied, the Savior will 'bind up the brokenhearted,...give...beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, [and] the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.'"

Further Elder Perry taught, "Each of us makes daily entries in our book of life. Occasionally we take it from the shelf and examine the entries we are making. What kind of memories will flood our minds as we examine the pages of our personal entries? How many pages will contain 'I wish I had' entries? Will there be entries of procrastination and failure to take advantage of special opportunities? Will you find there entries of thoughtlessness in treatment of family, friends, or even strangers? Will there be those of remorse resulting from acts of unrighteousness and disobedience? Will they be marked with acts of dishonesty and lack of trust? Will there be entries showing a lack of faith and a turning to the destructive powers of worldliness?

Fortunately, each day brings a clean, white page on which to change entries from 'I wish I had' to 'I’m glad I did,' through the process of recognition, remorse, repentance, and restitution. The harder we try to make the many 'I’m glad I did' entries each hour of each day, the more 'I wish I had' marks will retreat into the corners of our minds. Feelings of depression for past acts or missed opportunities will then turn to memory banks filled with exhilaration and enthusiasm and with the joy of living." (Elder L. Tom Perry, Making Memories, 1993).

I am so grateful for second, third, fourth (and so on) chances made possible because of the love and sacrifice of our Savior and Heavenly Father. I can honestly say that I love who I am today because of the struggles, heartache, disappointment, and sorrow I faithfully overcame. May you also have the courage to rise above your troubles and find peace in our Lord, and someday look back at hard times and see them as milestones to the rise of a better you.  

Women Living Well Health Webcast

I found this take on health to be so on point to what this blog is dedicated towards helping people discover. What fitness trainer Clare Smith shares definitely spoke to me because I believe we do need to have several parts of our life in balance with each other because they are interdependent. I hope you find this as inspiring as I did. Enjoy!