Dear Readers:
Thank you for your support of Beyond Beauty Diaries. It has been a wonderful learning experience. If you have followed my posts from the beginning, you know it has been a journey I have really enjoyed capturing in words. The focus has changed here and there, but I hope the consistent message conveyed was how to keep trying to live better through Christian discipleship.
I have decided to not continue Beyond Beauty Diaries, but because I treasure my posts, I will not delete the blog (I will re-share some of my favorite posts in the new blog). Instead, I have created a new blog, The Provident Daughter, to continue writing about my life as a Christian, but also to help and encourage you to live more dedicated to God and His Son. The new blog's focus will be preparing to meet God now based on the scripture found in Alma 34:32. This of course will include learning to love your community (how to serve and what local opportunities exist), love your spouse (includes advice on inexpensive date ideas), love God (developing a relationship with Him through an active faith), love your family (parenting is the highest calling in a family), and learning to love yourself (this one is big because if we don't love ourselves, it will be difficult to truly love others).
A special section will also be available beginning January 2017 called the Daily Word. The focus here is to encourage studying and pondering the Book of Mormon daily. At the end of the summary and discussion, I will include tips on how to incorporate the studying into a FHE lesson (where appropriate) and provide resources for lessons. After all, we could we could all use some encouragement with this (I know I do).
If you have Facebook, I invite you to follow The Provident Daughter page (to receive alerts of new content), and/or on Instagram you can find me under e.d.potter (here is where not only I share the updated posts but also you get a more personal look at my family life).
Please let me know if there is any specific content you would like to see more of based on the focus outlined.
Thank you and God bless!
Elena
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Change Begins With Us
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| Photo Credit: Jillian Butler Photography |
This has been no easy task so far because it definitely holds you as a parent at a very high standard, and I know I am nowhere near perfect. Raising children sometimes feels like what you say and do is useless because they aren't paying attention. If that is how you feel, stop it. Children are more aware of their surroundings than you think. Don't give up on trying to show them the straight and narrow path. When you do make mistakes, own up to them and apologize for them. My son gives thanks in his prayers for Christ's Atonement and for the ability to repent. What a beautiful thing to acknowledge and testify of...that we are imperfect and we are blessed to have repentance and remission of our sins through Christ...that we can make it right, now not later.
I appreciated the words of the Apostle Paul who said, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. (3 John 1:4)" I saw kindness in my kids as toddlers and siblings. Now that they speak well, and can form their own opinions of the world, and raise questions, especially make decisions, these words have become dear to my heart because it speaks truth about us as parents. We want to hear our children are good and righteous, and that our work as parents hasn't been in vain right?
I woke up this morning to the sound of my kids and husband getting ready for school and work. I got up and checked my phone for the time. I noticed an email waiting to be read from my son, Tyler's math teacher. It read, "Hello Mrs. Potter, I just wanted to let you know that Tyler is continuing to do an outstanding job both academically and socially. He goes above and beyond to role model following directions while inspiring others to do the same. He has built some incredibly strong friendships. He is also continuing to challenge himself in math...I am really proud of Tyler and I absolutely love having him as a student!" I think I sometimes took that for granted because it was a norm for them at home, and an expectation when they were away. Hearing that Tyler goes above and beyond to be a role model is incredibly satisfying and it echoes the words of the Apostle Paul. It means too that they are listening to what we do, say, and teach them. As parents we are one of the biggest influences in our children's lives! If we wait until they are teenagers to try to show them the way of righteousness, it may be too late.
In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we learn that, "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens where ever they live." The 13th Article of Faith states that "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men." Mosiah 18:9 reads, "Yea, we are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places..." The world would look very different today if all parents, people in general, understood their responsibility and took it seriously. I am just one person and have limited resources, but I know that the good I can do and leave when God calls me home, is the legacy that are my children. My efforts for righteousness can be multiplied by what I instill in them and what I help them develop and cultivate.
You may not have had the best of role models as parents, but I know that we always have a choice to how we react to situations. You can be the better role model for your children and hold sacred your duty as a parent. You don't have to look far to see what a lack of ownership for mistakes and the need to blame everyone else for ones circumstances does to a people. Stop making excuses and instead make it right. Make it right for future generations. With God's help, change begins with us!
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Cause for Rejoice
I work in a library and part of my responsibilities is to shelve books. Last month it made sense that the content of books I came across were of suspenseful fiction, picture books of Halloween characters, and many books about fall. On one occasion I came across the Thanksgiving section and pulled a book that read, "What Was the First Thanksgiving?" Simple answer most will give is that it was the celebration of the Pilgrim's first harvest. In looking deeper I find the answer much more meaningful. I ended up checking out the book for my daughter. It was interesting to learn in reading with her that people in the times of the Pilgrims didn't traditionally celebrate holidays like we do. They had days of prayer and thanksgiving whenever something special happened. They spent most of the day in church and called the day a "thanksgiving." (Holub, Joan. 2013. What Was the First Thanksgiving?).
Was it mere luck that the following spring they met a Native American who was able to help translate between the local tribes and the Pilgrims to eventually befriend them? (Holub, Joan. 2013). Some may say that it was out of pure self-interest that the settlers became friends with the Natives and helped each other, but I'd like to think that although it may have started as this, that love of their brethren brought on one of the most celebrated holidays today, Thanksgiving; and I strongly believe God played a part.
Around the time of the recession in 2007, I recall sitting in the dinning room of our little home in Ogden, Utah. It was a tough time for us, and both our jobs had been greatly impacted by the recession. We just stared at the account balance of our checking account and wondered what we would eat for dinner that night. Our credit card was maxed out, we had exhausted our resources. We were fearful and sorrowful about our circumstances. I don't recall getting on our knees for help, but the thought crossed our mind to check our mail. Often what we expected was more bad news in the form of letters, but among the letters that day, we found a $20.00 gift card. To this day we have no idea what it was from, but we were the recipients of it. My heart swelled with gratitude for the knowledge that our Heavenly Father was watching over us, his children.
We may not need to take such risks as to cross oceans to unknown lands, but often life takes us to unknown and uncharted paths. I know that God provides for our means and is very mindful of our needs. He doesn't only bless those that belong to His church. He loves every one of us and so he is merciful, even merciful beyond what we deserve.
"Blessed be the name of God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land." (Alma 26:36)The Pilgrim's were Puritans seeking freedom of religion. In 1620 many seeking a new life took the chance in sailing to the New World in order to find such freedom. The journey wasn't easy, but I would assume that their hope for a better life, kept them pressing forward. After 65 days at sea, they arrived in Massachusetts although they meant to arrive in New York. At some point they realized they needed help. (Holub, Joan. 2013).
Was it mere luck that the following spring they met a Native American who was able to help translate between the local tribes and the Pilgrims to eventually befriend them? (Holub, Joan. 2013). Some may say that it was out of pure self-interest that the settlers became friends with the Natives and helped each other, but I'd like to think that although it may have started as this, that love of their brethren brought on one of the most celebrated holidays today, Thanksgiving; and I strongly believe God played a part.
Around the time of the recession in 2007, I recall sitting in the dinning room of our little home in Ogden, Utah. It was a tough time for us, and both our jobs had been greatly impacted by the recession. We just stared at the account balance of our checking account and wondered what we would eat for dinner that night. Our credit card was maxed out, we had exhausted our resources. We were fearful and sorrowful about our circumstances. I don't recall getting on our knees for help, but the thought crossed our mind to check our mail. Often what we expected was more bad news in the form of letters, but among the letters that day, we found a $20.00 gift card. To this day we have no idea what it was from, but we were the recipients of it. My heart swelled with gratitude for the knowledge that our Heavenly Father was watching over us, his children.
We may not need to take such risks as to cross oceans to unknown lands, but often life takes us to unknown and uncharted paths. I know that God provides for our means and is very mindful of our needs. He doesn't only bless those that belong to His church. He loves every one of us and so he is merciful, even merciful beyond what we deserve.
"Now have we not reason to rejoice? I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began. Yea, and my joy is carried away even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name." (Alma 26:35)What is Thanksgiving to you? Is it a holiday of gluttony and football? Is it a celebration of reduced prices and pre-Christmas shopping? Is it just a day in a year? An excuse to get time off of work? Or do we more intently turn our hearts and thoughts to our Father in praise and thanksgiving for all you have and are?
"Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever." (Alma 26:37)May you not only live in thanksgiving once a year, but every day of the year.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Beyond Beauty: Take Dos
Growing up, education was not a priority, we weren't pushed to do our best by mother (dad on the other hand always expected the girls to do their best. Why? Not sure), we didn't read on our free-time. I spent a lot of time playing outdoors and yet, still managed to be a good student. I enjoyed school for the most part except during the times in my life where paralyzing anxiety and depression kept me from enjoying leaving the four walls of our home. I became a first generation college graduate in spite of all the delays due to health, family, and life in general. For years the only books I had time to read were text books...assigned reading, so I didn't appreciate the world of literature. Then, I had kids. Kids I was responsible for nurturing, teaching, and shaping for the future. Coupled with my love for them and dedication to their education, I found reading became a joy in our family.
We read a lot together during the time we homeschooled. I still miss having them home, yet I don't miss the constant prepping of lessons, but I would gladly (maybe sometimes begrudgingly) do it all over again (life goals for 2018!!!). Reading gives you a look into another world, place, another person's life. That is why it is fascinating to me. I have also come to realize that I enjoy the same thing about getting to know another person. I love learning about their story and struggles. It's like reading a book and sometimes you get to be written into their book depending on how you involve yourself in their lives.
Blogging for me is similar, and has been a way to let people into my life, but I have realized that I am still pretty reserved in terms of letting people see how we live apart from the Christian life lessons I share. Religion is a big part of who I am as a person, but I feel readers may need more in order to connect with me as a person. At least this is what I gathered from reading a friend's blog. I loved reading and laughing about her life...truly beautiful regardless of what she feels are failed attempts at blogging and life in general. It really made me love her as a person because my heart connected with her writing. I understand what it is like when life is messy, when you are out of energy, and sometimes very much discouraged. Yes, the purpose of this blog is to testify of God's hand in my life, but I also want to share life in general so that we may connect better. I may still be a little reserved with sharing the details of other aspects of my life, but I am trying.
I actually had a family blog for years, but haven't touched it in almost a year. I think it'll be good to go through that blog and glean from it to not only share with you, but also bring to surface memories that I had forgotten about. Oversharing on social media has often been looked at as a negative thing, but in the world of blogging that is what makes it an interesting read right? I'm still new to this and the content of Beyond Beauty Diaries may evolve a little over time. Side Note: I chose Beyond Beauty Diaries as the name of my blog because the content is supposed to reflect the details beyond what you see. Here's trying:
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05.2008
We read a lot together during the time we homeschooled. I still miss having them home, yet I don't miss the constant prepping of lessons, but I would gladly (maybe sometimes begrudgingly) do it all over again (life goals for 2018!!!). Reading gives you a look into another world, place, another person's life. That is why it is fascinating to me. I have also come to realize that I enjoy the same thing about getting to know another person. I love learning about their story and struggles. It's like reading a book and sometimes you get to be written into their book depending on how you involve yourself in their lives.
Blogging for me is similar, and has been a way to let people into my life, but I have realized that I am still pretty reserved in terms of letting people see how we live apart from the Christian life lessons I share. Religion is a big part of who I am as a person, but I feel readers may need more in order to connect with me as a person. At least this is what I gathered from reading a friend's blog. I loved reading and laughing about her life...truly beautiful regardless of what she feels are failed attempts at blogging and life in general. It really made me love her as a person because my heart connected with her writing. I understand what it is like when life is messy, when you are out of energy, and sometimes very much discouraged. Yes, the purpose of this blog is to testify of God's hand in my life, but I also want to share life in general so that we may connect better. I may still be a little reserved with sharing the details of other aspects of my life, but I am trying.
I actually had a family blog for years, but haven't touched it in almost a year. I think it'll be good to go through that blog and glean from it to not only share with you, but also bring to surface memories that I had forgotten about. Oversharing on social media has often been looked at as a negative thing, but in the world of blogging that is what makes it an interesting read right? I'm still new to this and the content of Beyond Beauty Diaries may evolve a little over time. Side Note: I chose Beyond Beauty Diaries as the name of my blog because the content is supposed to reflect the details beyond what you see. Here's trying:
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05.2008
TO START
Kevin and I have been married for three years as of April of this year. Through those years we have grown together and learned that together there is so much we can accomplish. From the start we have experienced some difficult times, nevertheless, we manage to stay positive and sincerely believe that all things have a purpose. We have two wonderful children, Sarah and Tyler, who are our greatest accomplishments. We constantly are trying to improve ourselves. We look forward to the many many years ahead of us and plan to make the best of them.
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Not the greatest post, but it was the first entry of our family blog. It has been years since I saw that picture. I was super thin! And look at those chunky babies! I just want to pinch those droopy baby cheeks on Tyler. It is crazy that they were once so little. How time has zipped by! The words are still true today, though. We have seen many more ups and downs, but everything has had a purpose. We do still continue to look forward to the future and now almost twelve years of marriage, we look back and can still smile about those years. Our children are still our greatest accomplishments, but I would have to say that marrying Kevin is by far my greatest adventure...the kids are a bonus.
Monday, October 24, 2016
We Are His Hands
When we fall on hard times, it is often easy to fall into the temptation of self pity and in some instances become bitter towards God and life. You may ask "Why is this happening to me?" or "How can a loving God allow such things to happen?" Although it is never a joy to be stretched to our limits, good can come from these situations. There are teaching moments, grains of wisdom to cultivate, even when life beats you down. You can very well not get anything out of the hard times, that is your choice, but this leads to more suffering and bitterness.
"[W]e have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some." (Alma 26:30)In the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, when Ammon is testifying of God's hand in their journey and life's he says:
"Now, when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy bretheren, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success." (Alma 26:27)Who hasn't felt that point where we are about to give up on our quest? I have. It is the point where you fall to your knees and feel the weight of it all crushing you down. Something beautiful happens though when you turn to God in that moment of desperation. He sends angels to bear you up in your afflictions. He adds strength to your efforts. I promise that He always sends help in His own time. I can't tell you how many times He has rescued me and similarly to Ammon's words:
"I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God."
"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." (Alma 26:11-12)
I marvel at the mercy of God and love for us, his children. If we bear our afflictions with patience and have faith that no matter how dark the night may get, that our Father will bring the morning light to our lives, all our suffering will not be in vain.
Around the holidays in Utah there was a lady who attended our church who would stop by and bring us treats. I got to know her story a little in our interactions and knew that she suffered many discomforts from poor health, yet she made the effort to reach out and remind me and my family that we were not alone. In speaking to her I found out that she had suffered the loss of a child and that although she could not make sense of the hardship, she later realized that from her suffering she gained wisdom and light to provide to others going through what she had suffered.
The same is true for us all. We don't have to just tuck away those mortal pains in our heart, hidden from all. We can use these to guide others out of the darkness and give them hope to live and keep fighting the good fight. We are God's hands! The messages we share with others can save souls, and so, our joy will be full.
A modern day frustration I have is to see so many keep to their own. What I mean by this is that we don't reach outside of our immediate circle of influence. We become complacent in our normal routines and with the people we frequent. Some of you are aware that my family relocated for work approximately two thousand miles away from anyone we knew. This was huge for us! We had never lived more than a few minutes from any family. I was sorrowful for many months before adjusting to the idea. I felt very much alone because of little association with others locally. However, I gained a new perspective for being on the outside so to speak especially when my efforts to get to know and fellowship members of our faith proved one-sided. From this unfortunate distance and current circumstance came an opportunity that had not presented itself otherwise, the opportunity to fellowship others. I'm not talking about members of our faith in general, but neighbors and people I just come across. It awakened an understanding that has allowed me to be an instrument in the hands of God to bring others to the light of Christ.
"Those who labor in the Lord's vineyard share a bond of love that comes from laboring in the 'harvest' together. This bond is deepened by common experiences of faith and testimony." (Book of Mormon Student Manual Commentary, Chapter 27)In our laboring to serve others we often don't believe that it need involve any kind of preparation except for a willingness to serve. In Alma, Chapter 17 we learn that this is not so. Apart from a willingness to go and serve, we need to prepare our hearts and our minds. We do so by searching and studying the Word of God diligently. We are counseled to begin our study of the Word of God with prayer so as to get the most out of our study along with other great promises: "He will bring knowledge and conviction that will bless your life and allow you to bless the lives of others. Your faith in Jesus Christ will increase. Your desire to repent and improve will grow. This kind of study prepares you for service, offers solace, resolves problems, and gives you the strength to endure to the end." (Preach My Gospel Manual)
Prayer is also a big part of our preparing to serve. How many of us pray for opportunities to serve without the intent to follow through? Do we seek to serve only when it is convenient or we feel up to it? Let me tell you that the times serving has been most effective when I accept to do it when I least feel it is convenient or least feel up to it. Unless I'm sick or out of town, I gear up for service or at least try. And trust me, I have social anxieties as well so I know about going forward in faith.
In the story of Ammon we learn that he and the other young men he served with learned to live in peace with those they were looking to teach before they began teaching them the gospel.
"And the Lord said unto them also: Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word; yet ye shall be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls." (Alma 17:11)M. Russel Ballard counseled how to manage this with our own neighbors: "First, get to know your neighbors. Learn about their families, their work, their views. Get together with them, if they are willing, and do so without being pushy and without any ulterior motives. Second, eliminate a couple phrases from [your] vocabulary: nonmember and non-Mormon. Such phrases can be demeaning and even belittling...I prefer to be identified for who and what I am, as opposed to being identified for what I am not. Third,...respect the rights of all people to peacefully coexist with one another."
Good can come from bearing our burdens in patience and turning to the Lord for strength and comfort. The light and knowledge we gain from such experiences are meant to help others. Don't procrastinate beginning to do God's work when it is convenient for you. The time is now! You will be blessed for your efforts, I promise.
"We all have significant opportunity to practice Christianity, and we should try it at every opportunity." (President Howard W. Hunter)
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Time is Fleeting
There are 24 hours in a day, 30 plus days in a month, 12 months in a year, which calculates into 8,760 hours. On average that means we use approximately 2,500 of those hours for sleep. That leaves about 6,200 hours for work, play, etc. As a mother I understand what it is like to feel like there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. It is often impossible to not have a task spill over into the next day. I've heard it time and time again..."I'd love to, I just don't have the time."
When I was working as a paralegal, time was essential for almost every task that took place. Everything had time running and I had to learn to prioritize tasks based on those deadlines. We of course used a docketing system to help with managing those deadlines because the case loads demanded that discipline. When the time came to be home and homeschool my kids, that same discipline carried into our home life. I enjoy managing my time, but I'm realistic at home that it doesn't work as efficiently as one would hope 100% of the time. One thing I have learned about my career and as a mom, you make time for what is important. I'm sure you agree. I am guilty of making time for things that are not of importance, do I really need to watch Netflix or peruse social media? No, when it comes to importance, I would gladly eliminate social media... Netflix on the other hand would be a little bit more difficult to do away with. I make time for the essential things like making dinner, going to work, picking up the kids from school, attending church. These things require a time that I need to be present. Everything else is a matter of choice in what I select to do with my time. A clean house is important to me, I make time. Spending time on the weekend with family is important to me, I make time. Reading the scriptures and studying the word of God is important to me, I make time. Serving God is important to me, I make time to serve others. No, this is not always convenient but I have never come away feeling like it was a waste of time to give time. See the pattern there?
How do we balance our time in a manner that we can make the best of it? I love the message shared by Dallin H. Oaks regarding how we choose to spend our time. Here is a short clip from his address:
(You can watch, listen, or read the full message here.)
As adults I believe it is just common for us to do what we want, when we want. Yet, we restrict this option for our kids. Kevin and I sometimes catch up on weeding our emails or checking other accounts when we all get home. Sarah, our oldest asked a very good question as to why it appeared we were often on our electronics when they were home. I realized that sometimes even though it was good that I was replying to their teachers, to friends or family, this was probably not the best time to catch up on this. Plus, while we restrict our kids to only one hour of electronics time, I realized we have not set such limitations to how long we use it. We have since become much more conscience about the use of our electronics. Reflecting on our habits is a great way to prioritize. I've actually gone to the extent of using an app called RescueTime to track my electronics habits so that I can determine where I am spending most of my time and replace it with something in the better or best category. Funny thing about this is that I am almost sure I know where I am wasting time but seeing it just helps confirm my suspicions so that I will be more encouraged to change the habit. Maybe you're in the same boat.
I promise that when you make time for the things that are better and best in your life, you are blessed. Don't get discouraged if you currently struggle with these choices. Start somewhere and work your way to best. Maybe it is giving up gossiping for saying good things (good) that will lead to serving your neighbor (better), and then best, loving them too (best). Giving up the overuse of social media may lead to picking up the phone and making the call to a relative or someone you haven't talked to in a long time (good), which may lead to finding out they needed to talk to someone (better), and you learn how you can help them and you help them (best). Goodness can come from sacrifice. Pray for direction and don't hesitate to follow the counsel.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
In the Shadows of the Mind
Depression is something I believe people don't talk enough about as well as they don't give the mental imbalance credit for many of their ailing symptoms. No one likes to admit they are depressed but finding out depression is what is wrong can also at least give your symptoms a name and something to work with. I mentioned in my post titled Hope that I struggled with depression as a youth. I still do. Depression is like an addiction, just because you have overcome it doesn't mean it no longer lingers. Every now and then the enemy resurfaces and taunts you. The perspective of during and after overcoming depression is that after, you have the knowledge you have beat it and how to beat it again. This to me is empowering in my ongoing struggle with depression.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland recently contributed to a video the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints produced regarding Depression based on his talk titled Like a Broken Vessel. People of different walks of life shared their battle with depression and many spoke about how it's a darkness that is just there, a torture of the mental faculties. You can't see it and that makes it that much harder to battle.
Christians know a thing or two of battling against forces that are unseen. We live in a time where Satan and his followers are working tirelessly to bring down God's Kingdom on earth. Depression is another one of those works of darkness that he inflicts on us to break us. Yes, there is a science behind it that tells us that it is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, but think about what goes through your mind when you are going through a depressive state. It's like you are battling a mental boogyman who looms in the dark corners of your mind, whispering to you your sins, what you lack, your failures, your poor body image. There are indeed two things at play, your mental illness caused by our frail mortal bodies, and Satan using your mental illness to further his purpose. And because it involves these two aspects, you need to fight back with science and the light of the Gospel of Christ.
The Gospel of Christ gave me the mental strength I needed to push the darkness out of my mind. I recall hearing an analogy about turning on a light in a dark room. Light and darkness cannot abide in the same space, one will ultimately push the other out. The same is true about our minds. When we fill it with the light of the Gospel, there is no room for darkness to dwell in. It is important therefore to continually strive to keep that light burning bright in our minds. When those depressive moods loom over us, turn to our Heavenly Father in prayer and our Savior in scriptures."Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:11-12)
With that understanding, now let me turn to how we fight depression with science. Not long after receiving the diagnosis of depression, I was placed on a low dose anti-depressant. I picked up an exercise program on my own and I elected to go on a run in the mornings. I didn't feel I had control over a lot of things, but this was a choice that I had control over and that coupled with my religion helped rescue me from what often seemed like a state of never ending darkness. According to researchers, "Exercise give you energy, whereas depression saps your energy. When energy levels are high, negative thoughts, sadness, and low self-esteem-- all components of depression-- decrease. Exercise increases metabolism, heart rate, breathing, and decreases muscle tension." (Robert Thayer, Return to Fitness by Bill Katovsky). "Exercise makes you feel great if you're feeling normal, and makes you feel better if you're feeling awful." (Andrew Solomon, Return to Fitness by Bill Katovsky).
If you have been diagnosed with depression or believe you may have depression, know that there is hope and healing ahead. If you rely on God to help you battle the darkness that looms over you this day, and make the effort to do all you can, you will regain that zeal for life. Depression will no longer have power over you, but you will have power over it.
"When you do your part, the Lord adds His power to your efforts." (Henry B. Eyring)
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Mansions of My Father
In the scriptures this morning I read over the book of Enos and found his farewell so moving. In looking at his life before his passing he wrote, "...and I have declared [the Word of God] in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world. And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me; Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father..." (Enos 1:26-27)
This made me wonder what I look forward to when I no longer exist in this mortal world...Is there anything to look forward to? We tend to think as death being the end, but Enos's words indicate there is more than what we see here and now. I wonder what I will look back on as the story of my life ...will I wish I had allowed more time to accomplish milestones in my career, traveled more, spent more time with my loved ones, or been a better wife, mother, sister, friend, or Christian? As people we often share common dreams and sometimes common regrets. We value certain aspects of life depending on our understanding. It is interesting to realize how quick we sometimes are to place a value on material things or to judge a person based on their net worth. We may not perceive others as important unless they have money, possessions, and power.
People are willing to give of their personal and family time, even lose sleep or give up other necessities, in exchange for worldly recognition and possessions. Why is that? We've all heard the old saying "Money can't buy you happiness." Yet I see many trading their happiness for money. What happens when we detract from needs to justifying our wants as needs? You don't have to look far. We are daily bombarded by media telling us that more is needed to make life easier, happier. We are flooded with choice in the purchase of everything. During Sunday school a few weeks back we were discussing how Satan twists the truth and makes worldly things enticing. Satan robs us of our eternal focus and prevents us from looking beyond our immediate gratification/happiness.
"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and thieves break through and steal; But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (3 Nephi 13:19-21)If you were to ask someone on the street what they consider a treasure, they would likely answer that it is something that has value maybe even referring to an archaeological find. Running a search on a search engine will bring up the definition of the noun of treasure as a quantity of precious metals, gems or other valuable objects. The verb however is more significant and is described as to keep carefully a valued or valuable item. I believe that the scripture above refers to the verb of treasure. When we treasure something that has value in the eternal perspective, it isn't something that can easily be taken from us. It cannot tarnish the way physical treasure can. A person cannot deprive us of holding it near to our hearts. They are some of the most prized of possessions yet they are the easiest to take for granted or set aside. We insure our homes, our cars, our physical bodies, our income even, but we take little precaution to insure our family ties, our relationship with God, our testimony of the Gospel. How can you insure something that isn't tangible you may ask?
Dieter F. Uchdorf shared that "Perhaps the most universal regret dying patients expressed [is] that they wished they had spent more time with the people they love. Men in particular sang this universal lament: they 'deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the [daily] treadmill of … work.' Many had lost out on choice memories that come from spending time with family and friends. They missed developing a deep connection with those who meant the most to them."
Why is it that we procrastinate when it comes to our loved ones as if time were something that will always be available to us? We wait for tragedy to breathe meaningful perspective into our lives. For me personally that realization came when I moved thousands of miles away from any family. I couldn't drive a few minutes and visit face to face with my parents, I couldn't call on my sisters to meet up with me for lunch or to go shopping, I wasn't an arms reach from hugs and kisses, and that was hard. I definitely wished I had taken more advantage of my time with them. Visiting them during the summer has definitely made for the sweetest of reunions knowing that it is only temporary. I can't express it enough, take advantage of your time with loved ones, you never know when it could be your last.
"Another regret people express...[is] that they failed to become the person they felt they could and should have been. When [looking] back on their lives...too many songs remained unsung. I am not speaking here of climbing the ladder of success in our various professions. That ladder, no matter how lofty it may appear on this earth, barely amounts to a single step in the great eternal journey awaiting us." (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2012. Of Regrets and Resolutions).
Christ taught that we cannot serve two masters. To set our hearts on the things of this world has the tendency to lead us away from God and our eternal purpose. You may think oh I am smarter than that. Or, that can't happen to me. Let me tell you that it is true what they say that the devil is in the details. He is very cunning and has a lot of experience influencing the hearts of men negatively. He is very well aware that he cannot lead us away with trying to get us to turn our heart away from God by big changes. He waits there patiently and will try small things to get you to inch your way towards misery. To think that this could not happen to you is foolish. We are all prone to temptations and mistakes. No one is immune.
"[S]eek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33)
"And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good--to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted." (Jacob 2:19)There is no better use of our abundant resources than to put it to the aid of those who need it. We praise people and organizations that do so on a larger scale and believe that giving is for those who have more than sufficient. Let me tell you that this is not so. It is required of all to help one another even if the portion is small. I have found so much more happiness and satisfaction in having sufficient for my needs when I share of my portion with those that stand in need. Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled: "If you choose to seek riches for the sake of riches, you will fall short. You will never be satisfied. You will be empty, never finding true happiness and lasting joy." Seek first the kingdom of God for you will be blessed with the surety Enos received, a place among the mansions of our Father to rest in Christ.
Monday, September 5, 2016
Forgiveness: The Source of Healing
What is it about forgiveness that makes some people think that if they forgive a wrong, that it is a form of weakness or that justice will not be served? Why do individuals hold onto pain like it will help their healing? I remember reading a quote that read that holding grudges is like ingesting poison hoping the other person would die. I have to admit that I have felt this pain...that gut wrenching pain that makes you physically ill at the memory. I had never felt such a dark feeling towards another and I knew that holding onto it was hurting me more than learning how to forgive the individual and allow for healing. I mulled over the situation over and over again coming to different conclusions and theories. I'd hear myself talking about it and the fact that I just couldn't get over it made me sick. I decided I had to stop, I had to consciously make the decision to forgive someone who I knew would never apologize for what they did...time alone wasn't going to lead to forgiveness.
"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men..." (D&C 64:10)"Many people act as thought this scripture reads in the reverse. They want to pick and choose whom they will forgive, based on their own standard or forgiveability. And their ultimate criterion seems to be that the sinner must suffer more than those who have suffered at the hands of the sinner." (Wendy Nelson). As expressed in the aforementioned scripture, we are required to forgive ALL...not some, ALL. We cannot pretend that forgiveness is only for those who are deserving of our forgiveness. Further, how can we expect to use the mercy of forgiveness when it comes to our mistakes but not those of others?
"...for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin." (D&C 64:9)Let me help you further understand the devastating effects of withholding forgiveness. Carla was a good work friend. Right off the bat we found much in common and enjoyed working together. I had heard Carla could be difficult to work with but I didn't see it. To me she was kind, intelligent, and always willing to help me learn the ropes. I considered her a mentor. On one occasion the subject of relationships came up and I found out she had never married, never had kids, and seldom had close friends. I thought it was normal for there to be people that this opportunity just didn't present itself to. The more I got to know her, I realized she had no issues cutting ties with people who disappointed her. She confessed that once she lost her good opinion of another, it could not be recovered. I realized this pattern of choice for her had left her alone. What people she got along with were on a more superficial level. How lonely would that be to be always so guarded and so unforgiving? Her unwillingness to forgive the mistakes and weaknesses of others had deprived her of some of the most enriching of relationships she could ever have.
I just finished reading the book The Light Between Oceans. It was such a great story about love, pride, and forgiveness. In the book, the character Hannah's suffering had been prolonged by the good intentions of the main characters, Tom and Isabel. She came to a point where exhausted from her pain she recalls her late husband explaining to her why he found it so easy to forgive others. To her question he responded by saying that forgiving requires one act whereas not forgiving would require daily work to remain bitter. I know for a fact that there are wrongs that we alone cannot find the strength to forgive. We can take courage in knowing that we are not alone in overcoming our weaknesses, and find peace again.
"I am convinced that most of us want to forgive, but we find it very hard to do. When we have experienced an injustice, we may be quick to say, “That person did wrong. They deserve punishment. Where is the justice?” We mistakenly think that if we forgive, somehow justice will not be served and punishments will be avoided. This simply is not the case. God will mete out a punishment that is fair, for mercy cannot rob justice (see Alma 42:25)." (Kevin R. Duncan, 2016. The Healing Ointment of Forgiveness)
“Leave judgment alone with me, for it is mine and I will repay. [But let] peace be with you” (D&C 82:23).The exercise of forgiveness is especially important within our own families. They see the ugliest side of us at times and love us unconditionally. This of course can lead us to taking the act of asking and extending forgiveness for granted assuming that it goes without saying. In my experience we cannot assume that all is forgiven just because we are family. The happiest moments and at the times the lowest moments have been experienced within the bonds of family. I love what Elder F. Burton Howard said, "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by."
Don't hesitate to admit your wrongs and forgive another's. I can honestly say that relationships, whether friend or familial, are strengthened through the exercise of repentance and forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of courage, courage comes from faith in Christ. Seek out our Savior and you will find strength in him to overcome every sorrow, heartbreak, and disappointment you are now facing or will ever face. As your exercise sincere forgiveness, you'll find that not only will your love increase for those around you and theirs for you, but also you will feel God's love for you.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
The Good Fight: Healthy and Strong
Often times when people embark in health and fitness goals they don't believe it involves God. Well in my experience it does. After all, our bodies are gifts from our Creator so why wouldn't it be a journey we undertake with his assistance. The battle begins with our mental hurdles and I admit I have often times lost to slothfulness, plain old negative self-esteem, and the ideas that I just can't do it or I need to see immediate results. It can be discouraging and that feeling can be overwhelming especially when we look in the mirror or step on a scale. Rather than only focus on getting a good work out in before your hectic day starts, I'd like to strongly encourage you to start your workout on your knees in prayer. Don't just pray out of habit. Pray with purpose. God isn't just a high and mighty being that doesn't care about the little things that matter to us like fitness. He cares about all the details of our life. He is our Father and wants to be involved in every aspect of our life.
Also, study the Word of God to get you inspired and in the right mindset. So many of the stories I read in the Bible and The Book of Mormon are stories of triumph over evil. Slothfulness in our self-care is a form of evil. The words in the scriptures can help us liken them to our journey in all respects. You've been given this mountain...now prepare yourself to witness a miracle when you invite God into your journey to get healthy and strong.
I came back from a five-week vacation with family. Fitness and health was the least important thing on my mind. I'm paying for it now and my body feels sluggish. I need that reinvigorating feeling of working out three times a week and daily study and prayer. Let me tell you that I have often failed because of a lack of a plan. In my experience, plans that stay in your head...well, they're all in your head and have statistically less probability of being accomplished. Write out a plan.
Take a moment and think about why you are looking to begin a fitness and health plan. Health and fitness is about more than just losing weight. Method and quality of a plan is more important than pounds lost. The weight coming off should be a result from self-care, not our focus. That may seem contradictory to some of your fitness goals, but trust me...focusing on method and quality is so important.
As an example I have broken down my plan based on my fitness goals into four categories and set a schedule of Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday with the exception of spiritual goals which are daily:
-Spirituality
-Strength Training
-Endurance Training
-Healthy Habits
When writing out goals, don't make goals that our way way out of your reach now. Start small and work your way up.
SPIRITUALITY. My fitness goals in spirituality include daily prayer, scripture study (study...not just reading), and meditation. Here's what my plan looks like:
Daily pray with purpose for the task at hand. Pray for strength and endurance to overcome any obstacles that you may face in the day's workout. Be grateful and give thanks for what we have and any progress made.
Daily read The Book of Mormon (a chapter a day) and study what is read using the Institute Book of Mormon Student Manual. (I have created a timeline for my studies that are based on weeks. My target week to finish reading the book in its entirety ends on May 27, 2017.)
Journal. Write down any thoughts and impressions received during study time. (Part of my journal time has also inspired my blog writing.)
Daily meditate for 30 minutes before or after workout or before retiring for the day. (Meditating serves as a mental recharge for me. If you want to sit outside and just soak in nature while doing so, do it. Breath in peace, exhale stress.)
STRENGTH TRAINING. My strength training goals have a lot to do with getting strong of course. I don't care as much about the look of strong, but rather the ability to push my body to do things it used to not be able to do...like lifting heavy. My strength training goals and plan look like this:
GOALS (September through October)
Complete one full pullup;
Bench press 30lbs with ease;
Do one handstand without wall assist;
Do 10 pushups correctly;
Improve posture; and
Tighten and tone biceps, triceps, shoulders, and back.
ROUTINE/PLAN (Tuesday and Saturday)
5-minute cardio warm up (row machine, jump rope, or neighborhood run)
Stretch arms
10 reps/3 sets using 5lb dumbells:
Bicep curls
Tricep extensions
Front raise
Lateral raise
Chest press
Bent over row
Push press
Push ups
Stretch
ENDURANCE. This one is probably the toughest one for me...pushing past what I feel are my limits. I have read many accounts from athletes that say endurance feels like a wall you hit when training and at that point it is a mental endurance that kicks in to push you a little further. My limits are very much tested in distance running. It has never been a strength or a delight for me. My goals in this area look a little like this:
GOALS:
Run 1 mile nonstop under 10 minutes on a flat terrain (eventually I want to reduce the time it takes to run 1 mile and then move onto a tougher terrain);
Complete 20-minute Full Body Workout (Nathan Bower Fitness);
Row 1k meters nonstop; and
Take Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes (I'm super excited for this one.);
ROUTINE/PLAN (Thursday and Saturday -- alternating weeks with strength training)
5-minute cardio warm up (row machine, jump rope, or neighborhood jog)
Stretch leg and arm muscles
1 minute jog -- 1 minute brisk walk alternating for 10 minutes
Stretch
Ladder Sprints (aka suicides)
Stretch
Attend Jiu Jitsu Class Tuesday-Thursday for 1 hour
HEALTHY HABITS. What you do when not exercising is just as important if not more important than your exercise routine. When your muscles are in recovery mode, they will need proper care and nourishment to repair. I struggle with being good about this too as I'm sure many do too.
GOALS:
Drink 32 oz. of plain water daily;
Compile a weekly plan of nutritious meals for family (working up to 52-weeks-worth);
Cook daily (this one is tough for me because I don't like cooking!);
Take a nutrition course or read a reputable nutrition book to better understand diet/food/nutrition;
Grow a vegetable garden and learn how to store fresh foods; and
Sleep 7 to 8 hours a night (no naps).
My plan here involves a lot of research and implementing...maybe a little trial and error so this section may change as I go.
I encourage you to do what works for you but don't stay in your comfort zone long term. If you have someone to workout with, involve them in putting together a plan to stick to and hold each other accountable. Pray for strength to overcome the health and fitness obstacles you may be facing. Don't be discouraged and remember the words of Christ:
Also, study the Word of God to get you inspired and in the right mindset. So many of the stories I read in the Bible and The Book of Mormon are stories of triumph over evil. Slothfulness in our self-care is a form of evil. The words in the scriptures can help us liken them to our journey in all respects. You've been given this mountain...now prepare yourself to witness a miracle when you invite God into your journey to get healthy and strong.
I came back from a five-week vacation with family. Fitness and health was the least important thing on my mind. I'm paying for it now and my body feels sluggish. I need that reinvigorating feeling of working out three times a week and daily study and prayer. Let me tell you that I have often failed because of a lack of a plan. In my experience, plans that stay in your head...well, they're all in your head and have statistically less probability of being accomplished. Write out a plan.
Take a moment and think about why you are looking to begin a fitness and health plan. Health and fitness is about more than just losing weight. Method and quality of a plan is more important than pounds lost. The weight coming off should be a result from self-care, not our focus. That may seem contradictory to some of your fitness goals, but trust me...focusing on method and quality is so important.
As an example I have broken down my plan based on my fitness goals into four categories and set a schedule of Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday with the exception of spiritual goals which are daily:
-Spirituality
-Strength Training
-Endurance Training
-Healthy Habits
When writing out goals, don't make goals that our way way out of your reach now. Start small and work your way up.
SPIRITUALITY. My fitness goals in spirituality include daily prayer, scripture study (study...not just reading), and meditation. Here's what my plan looks like:
Daily pray with purpose for the task at hand. Pray for strength and endurance to overcome any obstacles that you may face in the day's workout. Be grateful and give thanks for what we have and any progress made.
Daily read The Book of Mormon (a chapter a day) and study what is read using the Institute Book of Mormon Student Manual. (I have created a timeline for my studies that are based on weeks. My target week to finish reading the book in its entirety ends on May 27, 2017.)
Journal. Write down any thoughts and impressions received during study time. (Part of my journal time has also inspired my blog writing.)
Daily meditate for 30 minutes before or after workout or before retiring for the day. (Meditating serves as a mental recharge for me. If you want to sit outside and just soak in nature while doing so, do it. Breath in peace, exhale stress.)
STRENGTH TRAINING. My strength training goals have a lot to do with getting strong of course. I don't care as much about the look of strong, but rather the ability to push my body to do things it used to not be able to do...like lifting heavy. My strength training goals and plan look like this:
GOALS (September through October)
Complete one full pullup;
Bench press 30lbs with ease;
Do one handstand without wall assist;
Do 10 pushups correctly;
Improve posture; and
Tighten and tone biceps, triceps, shoulders, and back.
ROUTINE/PLAN (Tuesday and Saturday)
5-minute cardio warm up (row machine, jump rope, or neighborhood run)
Stretch arms
10 reps/3 sets using 5lb dumbells:
Bicep curls
Tricep extensions
Front raise
Lateral raise
Chest press
Bent over row
Push press
Push ups
Stretch
ENDURANCE. This one is probably the toughest one for me...pushing past what I feel are my limits. I have read many accounts from athletes that say endurance feels like a wall you hit when training and at that point it is a mental endurance that kicks in to push you a little further. My limits are very much tested in distance running. It has never been a strength or a delight for me. My goals in this area look a little like this:
GOALS:
Run 1 mile nonstop under 10 minutes on a flat terrain (eventually I want to reduce the time it takes to run 1 mile and then move onto a tougher terrain);
Complete 20-minute Full Body Workout (Nathan Bower Fitness);
Row 1k meters nonstop; and
Take Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes (I'm super excited for this one.);
ROUTINE/PLAN (Thursday and Saturday -- alternating weeks with strength training)
5-minute cardio warm up (row machine, jump rope, or neighborhood jog)
Stretch leg and arm muscles
1 minute jog -- 1 minute brisk walk alternating for 10 minutes
Stretch
Ladder Sprints (aka suicides)
Stretch
Attend Jiu Jitsu Class Tuesday-Thursday for 1 hour
HEALTHY HABITS. What you do when not exercising is just as important if not more important than your exercise routine. When your muscles are in recovery mode, they will need proper care and nourishment to repair. I struggle with being good about this too as I'm sure many do too.
GOALS:
Drink 32 oz. of plain water daily;
Compile a weekly plan of nutritious meals for family (working up to 52-weeks-worth);
Cook daily (this one is tough for me because I don't like cooking!);
Take a nutrition course or read a reputable nutrition book to better understand diet/food/nutrition;
Grow a vegetable garden and learn how to store fresh foods; and
Sleep 7 to 8 hours a night (no naps).
My plan here involves a lot of research and implementing...maybe a little trial and error so this section may change as I go.
I encourage you to do what works for you but don't stay in your comfort zone long term. If you have someone to workout with, involve them in putting together a plan to stick to and hold each other accountable. Pray for strength to overcome the health and fitness obstacles you may be facing. Don't be discouraged and remember the words of Christ:
"...lift up your hears and rejoice, and gird up your loins, and take upon you my whole armor, that ye may be able to withstand the evil day, having done all, that ye may be able to stand." D&C 27:15Do you have a health and fitness plan that has worked for you? Did you include a spirituality aspect to it? If so, how? I'd love to hear about it!
Sunday, August 7, 2016
Life Choices
About a year ago my husband and I were vacationing in the Redwoods of Northern California. We were celebrating our ten-year wedding anniversary. The weather was perfect and the scenery was absolutely gorgeous! We took the scenic Highway 1 up the coast towards the city of Fortuna. The road was significantly more windy than we had anticipated but we tried to look past that. As the evening drew near we pulled up a map to determine the quickest route to our destination. We decided to take what we thought was the best choice. As we drove through, the road became more narrow, windy, thick with trees, and on top of it all it started to rain. We didn't encounter many cars along the way and we began to feel very nervous about the drive, particularly when it began to downpour. We decided to say a prayer. I was prompted to pull up the GPS on my phone and guide my husband as to when to anticipate the sharp turns. This put him and I at ease because we knew what to expect. After what seemed like forever, we made it out of the ravine safely.
You can say that life can be that way. Sometimes we can encounter difficult paths because of choices we made or just from the natural order of opposition. Do you rely on your own abilities and understanding? Or do you seek assistance? In terms of the divine you can say that God has given us the Gift of the Holy Ghost to act as our personal GPS. We learn from the scriptures that He does not leave us on our own.
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (James 1:5)
"And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." (Moroni 10:5)In his most recent general conference address, President Thomas S. Monson spoke about the importance of choices, saying: "The choices we make determine our destiny."
Much like our experience along dark and stormy roads, the everyday choices we make, whether we think they are big or small, chart our course either to safe or unsafe paths. Had we planned better ahead of time, maybe we could have avoided what could have been a very treacherous road to our destination. Why is it important to plan our destination before hitting the road?
On the road of life, President Monson further counsels us to have an understanding of our eternal destination so as to make righteous choices. Otherwise we may find ourselves in the precarious situation that Alice found herself in when she met the Cheshire Cat for the first time.
"You will remember," he shares, "that she comes to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. As she contemplates which way to turn, she is confronted by the Cheshire Cat, of whom Alice asks, 'Which path shall I follow?' The cat answers, 'That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter which path you take.” (Thomas S. Monson, 2016. Choices).
There is nothing wrong with not being sure about a decision. There is also nothing wrong with making mistakes along the path of learning. The Atonement of Christ is available to all to correct the deviations made on our way to eternal progression. I believe we often think we know what is best for us and think that the decisions of our life are to be made on our own. If our Father in Heaven has provided a lifeline why would you choose to not take advantage of it? Maybe it is pride, ignorance, or plain foolishness that we don't seek Him, but He waits patiently and lovingly for you to seek His wisdom.
"Wherefore...seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works." (Jacob 4:9)May you have faith enough to humble yourselves in prayer with a willing heart to obey whatever counsel God reveals to you. It is okay to not know the answer to everything and to rely on God to guide your steps. I promise that the more you learn to rely on His infinite wisdom, you cannot go wrong. Whatever you ask, if you ask in faith, you will receive divine assistance.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
In God's Image
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| Photo Credit: lds.org |
"In the image of his own body, male and female, created he them." (Moses 6:9)I don't know of anyone who has not struggled in some way with the caring of their mortal body. I admit that for me personally the struggle has been off and on. I know what I am supposed to do to keep my body in the best condition, but fall into these moments where I take it for granted. This leads to little to no motivation to exercise or properly nourish it. When I come out of those moments of weakness, the guilt sets in and I criticize myself for what I have not accomplished. I believe a key to unlocking our health and fitness potential lies in understanding the the sacred origin and purpose of our bodies.
"Our mortal bodies are so consequential that they merit the creation of an earth to make it possible to fulfill the eternal gospel plan of our Heavenly Father...Depending on age and size, the body is a composite of tens of trillions of tiny cells. Each little cell is a very independent unit with its own specific function. Each is busily manufacturing who we are, how we function, and, in many ways, the quality of our lives. There is no aspect of our existence...that is not affected by our physical well-being or lack of it...In a year's time many of the trillion of little cells and components that make us who we are will replace themselves...If we use inferior materials to work with, we will end up with an inferior product. If, however, we are willing to provide superior materials, we may end up with a superior product...Our bodies are the vehicles that will go with us through the eternities. We do know that the body will respond positively or negatively according to the care we provide or fail to provide. It will adapt to the stresses placed upon it...If we require the body to strengthen all the muscles and give the cardiovascular and respiratory systems work and experience, they will continue to function as they were meant to do. If we give each joint the opportunity to maintain its full range of motion, we can have efficient, full use of our instrument. We can accomplish our work, enjoy our play, relieve debilitating stress, and push back our fatigue threshold. We are...dynamic beings whose vital systems all depend upon movement and use. We rarely lose our physical capabilities in normal living, but we give them up through nonsense...We all have stumbling blocks placed in our way--those are our growth-promoting experiences. Many temptations, testing, and challenges come through the body. This is part of our proving ourselves. There will be challenges in this life, for our bodies are subject to the natural processes of this mortal world. We are all subject to pain, disease, injury, aging, and infirmity. (Sara Lee Gibb, 1989. Our Mortal Body -- A Sacred Gift)"
I can't express it any better than Sara Gibb so eloquently stated, we give up physical capability through nonsense. Nonsense meaning foolish or unacceptable behavior. Of course there are some exceptions when it comes to disease, injury, or defects. And it is not only with our physical abilities. The same applies for our mental and emotional well-being. What you allow yourself to think, to do, it will manifest itself in your health. Mental and emotional stumbling road blocks are just as real as physical limitations can be to our bodies. The opportunity for healing in all aspects of our well being lies in our ability to trust our care in God, at times medical professionals, and ourselves. We very much have a personal responsibility.
If you don't feel at your best physically, mentally and emotionally, think...what are you doing to prevent feeling your best? It can be a disconnect in priorities. Is it more important for you to give into that temptation and moment of perceived happiness, than to overcome the temptation and instead seek lasting health and happiness? You will find the more you overcome those stumbling blocks along the way, it is like clearing a physical and/or mental hurdle, and you will feel empowered to do more. I've seen it with friends and family. Know your potential! You were made to be victorious not to be broken and in disrepair. I believe that we can reach the heights of our health and well being in involving God in that battle. He will take us as we are now, and with our efforts combined, there will be realized a potential that alone we could otherwise not accomplish.
Friday, July 22, 2016
Beacon of Light
Old World travelers navigated the vast oceans using landmarks as their guides. Traveling by night was especially dangerous and often required the setting of bonfires or a tripod containing a metal basket with a fire on high-points to signal travelers safely in and away from danger. With an increase in trade it became necessary to construct more permanent structures called lighthouses. The earliest recorded lighthouse in history is the Pharos of Alexandria in Egypt. When lighthouses were built they were built to fit their geographic and climatic surroundings. Every lighthouse is unique. Although technology advances have made the use of lighthouses almost obsolete, they serve as a reminder of a time where mariners relied on them to guide them safely day or night. (Lighthouse History, The United States Lighthouse Society.)
You can say that we too are like the unique beacons of light that mark much of our coast lines. The light we reflect isn't one that can be replaced by the things of this world. We know this to be the Light of Christ of which every living soul has been blessed with.
"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid." Matthew 5:14
Like the lighthouses that stand on rocky shores or are set upon other lofty heights, they are not meant to be hid from the world. The light that we have is also not meant to be hid. We can be the guiding light of salvation by sharing that light with others, and they will seek to know the source of that light.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16
It is through our works that others can come to glorify God. This of course is no small task. Discipleship is something that is a part of every facet of our lives. There is something majestic that takes place in us when the Light of Christ is ingrained in us. God will take us and make us into more than we could have ever been.
"...[B]e thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
I believe we can take that scripture a little further and also include being an example to non-believers. President Thomas S. Monson shared "...Our opportunities to shine surround us each day, in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. As we follow the example of the Savior, ours will be the opportunity to be a light in the lives of others, whether they be our own family members and friends, our co-workers, mere acquaintances or total strangers." (Thomas S. Monson, 2015. Be an Example and a Light.)
We are all sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who has placed us in this life to grow and learn. The path was never meant to be easy and we will surely experience moments of tribulation. We cannot complete the journey ahead without the assistance of our Savior. Sometimes that assistance will be through another person. Too often others may feel that they are not responsible for the welfare of others. In the Bible we learn of Cain and Abel, and the tragic story in which one seeks their own without the regard of their brother. When Cain was questioned by the Lord about the whereabouts of Abel, he answered, "Am I my brother's keeper?" President Monson counsels that the answer to this is a resounding YES.
When we selfishly hide our lights from our brothers and sisters, we put our own light in jeopardy. With every choice to seek only our own, we restrict the flame of the Light of Christ in our hearts and over time that light can dim or even become extinguished. If you feel your light has been dimmed by past mistakes, resolve to do better today. Through the redeeming power of Christ we can again restore that light in our own lives and in turn be better qualified to be that beacon of light to guide others safely home.
Brightly beams our Father's mercy,
From his lighthouse evermore,
But to us he gives the keeping of the lights along the shore.
Dark the night of sin has settled;
Loud the angry billows roar.
Eager eyes are watching, longing,
For the lights along the shore.
Trim your feeble lamp, my brother;
Some poor sailor, tempest-tossed,
Trying now to make the harbor,
In the darkness may be lost.
Let the lower lights be burning;
Send a gleam across the wave.
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman
You may rescue, you may save.
(Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy, Hymn #335)
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Never Suppress a Kind Thought
Some of my favorite attributes in women are their ability to be thoughtful and foresee a need. I can't tell the women who turn these thoughts into action thank you enough. I have always loved receiving impromptu visits from friends and family. I love that their kindness is on an impulse rather than a scheduled visit or reason. I read a story a while back about Camilla Kimball, the wife of one of my favorite prophets. I am sure that she played an important part in much of the source of President Kimball's inspiration and compassion:
Susan was a wonderful seamstress. President Kimball lived in their ward. One Sunday, Susan noticed that he had a new suit. Her father had recently returned from a trip to New York and had brought her some exquisite silk fabric. Susan thought that fabric would make a handsome tie to go with President Kimball’s new suit. So on Monday she made the tie. She wrapped it in tissue paper and walked up the block to President Kimball’s home.
On her way to the front door, she suddenly stopped and thought, “Who am I to make a tie for the prophet? He probably has plenty of them.” Deciding she had made a mistake, she turned to leave.
Just then Sister Kimball opened the front door and said, “Oh, Susan!”
Stumbling all over herself, Susan said, “I saw President Kimball in his new suit on Sunday. Dad just brought me some silk from New York . . . and so I made him a tie.”
Before Susan could continue, Sister Kimball stopped her, took hold of her shoulders, and said: “Susan, never suppress a generous thought.”
Susan didn’t have an assignment to make that tie. She wasn’t hired to do so. Despite feeling a bit hesitant, she did it because it felt right. Susan had a quiet sense of mission to serve others. Her service went beyond any calling because it lasted throughout her life. Never suppressing a generous thought became a part of her personal ministry. (Bonnie D. Parkin, 2007. Personal Ministry: Sacred and Precious)I can think of many times where I was prompted to do something for someone simply out of kindness. That feeling was often followed by inadequacy and a fear of rejection. The more I have come to trust that all good things come from God, I have been less reluctant to answer the call.
Maybe we tend to suppress such thoughts and keep them from turning into action because we feel it may inconvenience someone or we wait for someone else to answer the call for help. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm guilty of such circumstances. One instance I recall a lady in our church kept coming to mind. I didn't know her well and I kept putting off calling her. Later during a Sunday meeting she confessed that she had recently experienced some hard times emotionally and physically. She revealed in her story that at the time she prayed for assistance, several sisters in our church called or stopped by. I felt myself shrink realizing that this was the reason this sister kept coming to mind. Fortunately there were others who did not hesitate to reach out. Since then I have vowed to work hard at just acting upon those promptings whether they make sense or not, and whether they make me uncomfortable or not. We just really never know how we can be helping by making those efforts, big or small.
In the 2016 April Women's Conference, President Eyring shared a wonderful message about responding to such promptings to do good. He said:
“And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit” (D&C 11:12).
You may have received that blessing tonight. For instance, a name or a face of someone in need may have come to your mind during this meeting. It could have been only a fleeting thought...He counseled to pray about such thoughts, trusting God will lead us in what we are to do for that person. He continued:
As such prayers become a pattern in your life, you and others will be changed for the better...[W]ith those feelings, the first thing you must commit to do is to go and serve, knowing that you do not go alone. When you go to comfort and serve anyone for the Savior, He prepares the way before you.President Eyring further counseled that we should also go with the understanding that not every person we seek to serve is prepared to welcome us or will be thankful for such service.
(Henry B. Eyring, 2016. Trust in That Spirit Which Leadeth to Do Good)
“And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up” (D&C 84:88).What a beautiful and encouraging message. We do not go alone, therefore, we should not suppress kind and generous thoughts out of feelings of fear or inadequacy. We also should not put off those thoughts in a kind of mental Pinterest board filled with good intentions but rarely put into action. Charity is a word of action. We cannot hope to help or change the world with a mere good thought. We must go and do.
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Time Out
Sometimes I feel like I constantly need to be on my best behavior and the most productive. If I even think about taking a "lazy" day, I've failed to meet expectations. If this sounds like you then welcome to the club! I confess I don't know how to stop, even when the kids are on vacation I feel like we need to be doing something. We are taught that to be disciples of Christ we need to live as examples. Looking at Christ's life, I don't believe he ever took a "lazy" day in his life. Was there a need to? His work was much too important to set aside, but also one thing stood out. He didn't abide by others expectations of him, He did Heavenly Father's work and led a simple life. I'm sure he didn't have a lengthy to do list or a jam packed agenda filled with social events. He let God lead him to the right time and place in order for him to do an important work. He didn't allow himself to be distracted by the trivial and unimportant things of the day. He led a purposeful life. Purpose-full or full of purpose. If our purpose in life is just to do busy work, than our purpose becomes mediocre. You can run yourself ragged with things to do and at the end of the day feel very little satisfaction with your accomplishments. Why? They lack purpose.
"For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors." Alma 34:32Ask yourself "Is what I am doing preparing me to meet God?" In the hustle and bustle of life the answer can become distorted and our convictions come to a questionable halt. It seems more people are preparing for the next social event, preparing for college, or take the next step in their career, or help their kids prepare for a future that holds promise in material and worldly accomplishments but little to do with eternal ones. Yes, education and careers matter, homemaking and raising kids matter, but it shouldn't consume our lives so much that we set aside the things of God to accomplish them.
A great example of such dilemmas is the story in the book of Luke about the two sisters, Mary and Martha.
Sister Evelyn T. Marshall provides great insight about this story: "The question here is one of priorities. Even special meals can become too complicated if we spend hours frosting the petit fours (small confectionery appetizer) instead of planning more simply-prepared food. Do we spend more time planning and executing a lavish Sunday dinner for family members than we do studying the scriptures that day? Do we value a perfectly clean home over spending time teaching and loving our children? The story of Mary and Martha, observes Elder Dallin H. Oaks, 'reminds every Martha, male and female, that we should not be so occupied with what is routine and temporal that we fail to cherish the opportunities that are unique and spiritual.' (Ensign, Nov. 1985, p. 61.)....How are we “cumbered” today? Are household tasks a hindrance and burdensome? Are we disorganized, frustrated, overstressed? Are we victims of crises, reacting to pressures of time and circumstance rather than acting to control them? And, conversely, are we so involved with learning or outside interests that we do not honor our domestic responsibilities? There are times when the work must be done. But it can be done with a positive attitude and without martyr-like complaining."Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42
Elder Neal A. Maxwell observes: 'The conversation that night was eternal; the calories were not...When we get filled with Martha-like anxiety, it usually stems from failure to establish proper priorities.' (Deposition of a Disciple, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1976, p. 69.)"
I find it interesting that Jesus responds to Martha by saying, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful..." Martha is a person of details and of course she is, in her situation of hosting Jesus I'd also be concerned with details. Christ lovingly reminds her that one thing is needful..."and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken from her." The things of God are needful and will not be taken from us. When those things are missing in our lives, it is we that give them up.
"I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely." Revelation 21:6My hope is that we are not only "athirst" for the things of God when trials and tribulation present themselves. There are many good things in this world that we can seek after, but they should not detract from our purpose to prepare to meet God. Make a conscious choice to take time every day to study, ponder, and pray and I promise you will be better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you. I know it is easier said than done but if good things were always easy, they would lose their worth.
I've had days where the kids are not at their best (yes, we have those days too) and I find myself raising my voice to get their attention. In the midst of a moment when taking a break may appear inconvenient because there is so much to do (let's face it, there is always a lot to do) take a time out. I send everyone, including myself, to our rooms and just breathe and refocus. Read or listen to something uplifting and get on your knees for assistance. Dinner can wait, the kids can wait, the phone can wait, the person knocking at your door can wait. There are days that I can only make it through with my Heavenly Father's help and who better to turn to for strength than he. In those sacred moments you, like Mary, are choosing the needful and better part.
Monday, July 4, 2016
Treating Symptoms
A few years back I was experiencing frequent cluster headaches and other unexplained symptoms. I sought medical attention, but doctors couldn't find a reason. The doctor's approach was to treat the symptoms and prescribed me pain killers. My body was reacting to stress. Numbing the pain was only a temporary relief, the underlying cause needed remedying.
I suspect this happens to many; they try to treat symptoms in their life by temporary fixes than by dealing with the root cause. Take for example someone suffering from a low self esteem. A temporary fix may be getting attention, good or bad. Really they need emotional and psychological healing. Another example can be a need to acquire things in order to prove ones worth when really self worth is something that cannot be purchased. We push pain away and mask it by temporary moments of happiness or relief. This can apply to physical, mental and spiritual ailments of pain. Just as we seek a physician to help treat physical illnesses, we should seek God in our time of mental and spiritual illness.
Physical, mental, and spiritual trials can make us feel like we are dwelling alone in our own personal wilderness. It may feel like relief isn't in sight regardless of our efforts. We may turn to anything for relief, only to find ourselves disillusioned. Is the answer of seeking God too good to be true that we often fail to even attempt to try? Maybe for some this is true, but for others maybe the pain they bear is too much that they truly believe that there is no answer or relief for their suffering thus it is easier to numb it than deal with.
"You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need won't satisfy you." -Dallin H. OaksDon't we all do this in one respect or another? I know I have. When we replace God with meaningless things it only prolongs our pain and discomfort. You won't find the answer in the temporary attention given by others (hello social media), in superficial relationships, in acquiring more money or power, or increasing your time at the gym. No worldly thing or place can replace the divine strength and assistance that comes from a personal relationship with God.
One of my favorite stories is about the Prophet Joseph Smith's incarceration in Liberty Jail. He wrote of his experience, “Our souls have been bowed down and we have suffered much distress ... and truly we have had to wade through an ocean of trouble.” The trial he and the other men with him were suffering through took a toll on them physically as much as mentally and spiritually. In his pain Joseph prayed to God saying, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries? Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?" Although not immediate, the answer came, "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."
How can one be expected to endure well our afflictions? Russell M. Nelson said that "Faith is the antidote to fear." Our afflictions are trials of faith and by increasing that faith, we can dispel the fear that comes with the pain of life. That same faith will strengthen our ability to endure well our afflictions. Remember "thine adversity and thine afflictions be but a small moment...if thou endure it well...thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." Have faith in God. He will not forsake you. Your trials will come to an end and whatever foes you face (physical, mental or spiritual) He will give you the strength to triumph over them.
"...I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments...ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." 1 Nephi 17:13There is nothing that you are brought to in life which you cannot overcome in Christ. It is when we attempt to rely solely on ourselves for relief that our hearts fail us. Let God lead you through it and you will be guided to that promised land of peace and plenty. Great shall be your joy, and you'll witness miracles in your life and know that God does indeed live and loves you.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Law of Health: Sleep
The other night I tried to stay up with the kids to watch a family movie. This was special to them because we typically have them in bed between 8 and 9pm during the summer. 9:30 rolls around and I'm having a difficult time staying alert. I struggle to keep my eyes open so after fighting it for what felt a long time, I said good night to the kids and I made my way to bed. Once I got comfortable enough, I fell asleep within minutes. I woke up the next morning around 6am. This is the new normal for me. In the past I have struggled with getting and staying asleep. Any little noise would wake me up in the middle of the night and it was frustrating to toss and turn for hours wishing I could enjoy some much needed rest. Parents of new born babies in particular know the struggle of not getting enough sleep. I recall the newborn stage with each of my kids and that by far was the most trying of situations with them (them being teenagers will likely be a close second). That six to nine months was tough physically, mentally and spiritually. Your mood, concentration, and health takes a toll from the lack of sleep. What are some things that may prevent us from getting a restful night? Before you pin the blame solely on children, let me share some facts about sleep.
According to the National Sleep Foundation, sleep can be disrupted by elevation -- higher altitudes in particular, exercising sporadically or before bed, marital status (divorced, widowed, or separated), misuse of sleeping aids, schedules that interfere with 6-10 hours of sleep, sleep disorders such as insomnia or apnea, and even the environment you sleep in (too much light, noise, etc.). According to Harvard Medical School's Sleep Division, "...sleep plays a critical role in immune function, metabolism, memory, learning, and other vital functions." All earth organisms REQUIRE sleep. Sleep is not optional, our body needs it to properly function.
As far back as 800 B.C. the sleep norm was in two shifts within a 24 hour period of time. In later eras, researchers believed that sleep was brought on by gastric vapors from your stomach. Around the 1800's the idea of sleep habits and ideas shifted to sleep exceeding seven hours was lazy. By the 1900's further research of the neurological system pointed towards the brain being a primary driver in sleep and wakefulness. During the earlier part of this century, sleep patterns aligned with the artic season, which varied between 14 hours when nights were longer, and six hours during the months days were longer. By the 1980's the idea of need for sleep deteriorated and took the backseat of the need to work longer hours in order to obtain more material possessions. By the year 2010, it was estimated that approximately "47 million adults in the U.S. were putting themselves at risk for health and behavior problems or injury because they fail to meet their minimum sleep requirements." (Harvard Medical School, Historical and Cultural Perspectives of Sleep Timeline).
Caffeinated coffee, soft drinks, teas, energy drinks, energy shots, can suppress the need for sleep with these easily accessible substances. Over consumption of such stimulants can lead to addiction (ask people who need a Coke or a cup of coffee to function), lack of sleep, and health issues. The FDA cautions "consumers that products marketed as 'energy shots' or 'energy drinks' are not alternatives to rest or sleep. It is important for consumers to realize that, while stimulants such as caffeine may make one feel more alert and awake, judgment and reaction time can still be impaired by insufficient rest or sleep." Nothing can substitute a good nights rest, period.
The scriptures teach the benefits of being wise in the caring of our bodies. “Cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” (D&C 88:124). We are promised we "shall receive health in their navel and marrow to [our] bones;...And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;...And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint." (D&C 89:18-20). Even Benjamin Franklin understood this when he said, "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy and wealthy and wise." Not only are our bodies able to benefit from much needed rest, but our mental state, and spirituality also benefit.
President Harold B. Lee taught how going to bed at a reasonable time and waking up early benefits personal revelation and said, "If you do, your body and mind will become rested, and then in the quiet of those early-morning hours, you will receive more flashes of insight and inspiration than at any other time of the day.” I have a personal testimony of this law of health. There is no other time during the day that I look forward to more than the quiet hours I spend studying, writing, pondering, and praying. Resting provides a much needed physical and spiritual renewal, and I am able to take on whatever the day brings with my perspective, my heart, and my convictions in the right place.
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