Time Out

Sometimes I feel like I constantly need to be on my best behavior and the most productive. If I even think about taking a "lazy" day, I've failed to meet expectations. If this sounds like you then welcome to the club! I confess I don't know how to stop, even when the kids are on vacation I feel like we need to be doing something. We are taught that to be disciples of Christ we need to live as examples. Looking at Christ's life, I don't believe he ever took a "lazy" day in his life. Was there a need to? His work was much too important to set aside, but also one thing stood out. He didn't abide by others expectations of him, He did Heavenly Father's work and led a simple life. I'm sure he didn't have a lengthy to do list or a jam packed agenda filled with social events. He let God lead him to the right time and place in order for him to do an important work. He didn't allow himself to be distracted by the trivial and unimportant things of the day. He led a purposeful life. Purpose-full or full of purpose. If our purpose in life is just to do busy work, than our purpose becomes mediocre. You can run yourself ragged with things to do and at the end of the day feel very little satisfaction with your accomplishments. Why? They lack purpose.

"For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors." Alma 34:32

Ask yourself "Is what I am doing preparing me to meet God?" In the hustle and bustle of life the answer can become distorted and our convictions come to a questionable halt. It seems more people are preparing for the next social event, preparing for college, or take the next step in their career, or help their kids prepare for a future that holds promise in material and worldly accomplishments but little to do with eternal ones. Yes, education and careers matter, homemaking and raising kids matter, but it shouldn't consume our lives so much that we set aside the things of God to accomplish them.

A great example of such dilemmas is the story in the book of Luke about the two sisters, Mary and Martha.

"Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

Sister Evelyn T. Marshall provides great insight about this story: "The question here is one of priorities. Even special meals can become too complicated if we spend hours frosting the petit fours (small confectionery appetizer) instead of planning more simply-prepared food. Do we spend more time planning and executing a lavish Sunday dinner for family members than we do studying the scriptures that day? Do we value a perfectly clean home over spending time teaching and loving our children? The story of Mary and Martha, observes Elder Dallin H. Oaks, 'reminds every Martha, male and female, that we should not be so occupied with what is routine and temporal that we fail to cherish the opportunities that are unique and spiritual.' (Ensign, Nov. 1985, p. 61.)....How are we “cumbered” today? Are household tasks a hindrance and burdensome? Are we disorganized, frustrated, overstressed? Are we victims of crises, reacting to pressures of time and circumstance rather than acting to control them? And, conversely, are we so involved with learning or outside interests that we do not honor our domestic responsibilities? There are times when the work must be done. But it can be done with a positive attitude and without martyr-like complaining.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell observes: 'The conversation that night was eternal; the calories were not...When we get filled with Martha-like anxiety, it usually stems from failure to establish proper priorities.' (Deposition of a Disciple, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1976, p. 69.)"

I find it interesting that Jesus responds to Martha by saying, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful..." Martha is a person of details and of course she is, in her situation of hosting Jesus I'd also be concerned with details. Christ lovingly reminds her that one thing is needful..."and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken from her." The things of God are needful and will not be taken from us. When those things are missing in our lives, it is we that give them up.

"I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely." Revelation 21:6 

My hope is that we are not only "athirst" for the things of God when trials and tribulation present themselves. There are many good things in this world that we can seek after, but they should not detract from our purpose to prepare to meet God. Make a conscious choice to take time every day to study, ponder, and pray and I promise you will be better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you. I know it is easier said than done but if good things were always easy, they would lose their worth.

I've had days where the kids are not at their best (yes, we have those days too) and I find myself raising my voice to get their attention. In the midst of a moment when taking a break may appear inconvenient because there is so much to do (let's face it, there is always a lot to do) take a time out. I send everyone, including myself, to our rooms and just breathe and refocus. Read or listen to something uplifting and get on your knees for assistance. Dinner can wait, the kids can wait, the phone can wait, the person knocking at your door can wait. There are days that I can only make it through with my Heavenly Father's help and who better to turn to for strength than he. In those sacred moments you, like Mary, are choosing the needful and better part.